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                  Video Girl Hosoi -- Part I
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                         By Ed Hrzic
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               Copyright (c) 1995 by Ed Hrzic
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Here's another of my FanFics. I had a field day downloading the
translations of the "Video Girl Ai" manga, so I decided to write
my own. Yes, it's another one with me in it. So sue me. I've
already told you -- I'M VAIN!!!! This will probably show my
'loyal' (ahem) fans out there some of my true personality, by
piecing it together with my alter egos in my other fics. Also,
since the Video Girls are supposed to be "special," I've created
a special way for them to be created.
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Comments welcome at "bd981@@yfn.ysu.edu". Thanks!
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                         Part I -- "Hosoi"

<< ONE >>

  Looks like this will be the last note I will write to you...or
anybody else, to avoid the same mistakes over again. What am I
going to say?
  You're never going to keep your promises, are you?
  Didn't think so.
  It's not a joke, and not a game. Everything I said, did, or
tried to give you...it was a fucking joke to you, wasn't it?
I was right when I told Carrie during English: "No one takes me
seriously." None of my friends and certainly not even you.
  "You'll always be close to my heart." Stacey, I don't want to
be close to your heart anymore. I'm tired, so very tired of being
friends with you, as you are with me. I'm fed up, just as you are
with me.
  You just wanted to be friends, I wanted to be more than
friends. I can't handle just being friends. Every time I look at
you, I can see is pure pain in my heart.
  You made your choice.
  So have I.
  I could never get up the courage to say what I wanted, or to do
anything for you. You always shot me down before I could prove my
worth.
  Perhaps what I wrote in the yearbook and over the years were
lies.
  You never understood! Never understood what I wrote or did!
  I NEEDED YOU!
  Diligently working for your mother...no complaints...doing what
I could...Drama Club...Literary Mag. You refused to let me become
an integral part of the Lit Mag staff. Don't use the excuse of
art. Last time I did art for the Lit Mag, MY art was never used,
but the IDEA was, and I never got credit for it. I took CWE so I
could be with you still, or even on the bus at least. I could
have done other things instead of CWE. Do you think I wanted to
work at Public Works for a semester?! Hell no! It was for you!
  DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY I HATE YOU, THAT WAY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO
SEE ME?! DO YOU?! Fine. I HATE you. Nothing but grief for three
years. SAY THAT YOU HATE ME TOO! OR HIT ME! DO SOMETHING WITH ME!
  I tried, waiting my turn -- taking a number -- but was never
called. The line stopped ahead of me.
  I would have liked some pure love from you. You never
understood. I'm tired of being "just friends" with the few people
who interest me. YOU DON'T KNOW PAIN!
  Every morning I get up and look in the mirror, saying "You
bastard! Why the hell can't you be happy for once? Why can't
things go RIGHT for once?"
  I'm afraid of everything. I'm worried about tomorrow, I'm
worried about what will happen in the next hour...hell, even in
the next ten minutes!
  And then! Then there was Stacey Ann Lona! She made the days
full of happiness to make me forget! Forget my problems!
Then she disappeared. She promised she wouldn't. Then I began to
cry! Every night! Cry myself to sleep!
  GOD DAMN YOU!
  I'm tired of being the one nobody notices! I'm tired of being a
secondary person in people's lives!
  I don't care anymore. Do what you wish.
  Have your mood swings. I don't care.
  O.D. on your medication. I don't care.
  Slit your wrists. I don't care. Or, would you have me slit my
own? That way you wouldn't have to stomach the sight of me since
you loathe me anyway?
  Why can't I let go? Very well, I'm letting go.
  This isn't "if I can't have you, no one will." I just hope the
next unfortunate person will see who you are.
  All you had to do was keep your promises. I could care less if
it hadn't worked out...I wouldn't have been this angry...so HURT.
A chance...one which I never go. If you didn't want people to
laugh at you because I was such a fucking idiot, then you should
have said that instead of leading me. I never got a chance to
change either -- I was barely told at what I was doing wrong.
  I'll never be able to read any of your stories or poems. I
don't compliment you anymore, because you resent what I say to
you, giving me a look like "I don't need your compliments."
  There. You don't have to worry about me being an admirer of
yours anymore, or even a friend.
  Say it. I'm an asshole. I have known that since long before I
arrived here.
  Friends keep their word to each other. Granted, I don't care if
you would spend all your time with me. What I wanted was a LITTLE 
of your time. Fine. I don't care.
  I won't be able to keep my feelings for you.
  Then I renounce them, here and now. I renounce MY feelings for
you.
  It doesn't matter anymore. Your mother says you're worrying
yourself sick. What do YOU have to worry about? You have
happiness. You have someone with you. You can look ahead at the
future with bright eyes.
  WHO THE FUCK DO I HAVE? NO ONE! DAMMIT! I TRIED!
  I'm the one who's always hurt, no matter what I do. I'm always
the enemy to everyone, and always in the dark.
  Worrying YOURSELF sick... I WORRY MYSELF SICK! I ALWAYS HAVE TO
MAKE AN EXCUSE TO MY PARENTS TO WHY I'M ALWAYS SO UPSET!
  WORRYING is sitting at home, waiting for the call that will
never come.
  WORRYING is thinking about promises that will never be
fulfilled.
  Go ahead and hate me. You can tell your parents to hate me as
well. I don't care. Cry your heart out to them. I don't resent
Billy; far from it -- I resent the fact that you wouldn't let me
do anything for you. You don't call a good bluff when you said
you waited for me to take you out. I've lied most of my life, so  
I know.
  Let everyone know that I'm an asshole, but also tell them about
your broken word, and how you couldn't do anything with me. I now
gather that the promises were quick-fixes to a problem. But it
back-fired on you and me both. Let your parents know that YOU
come to ME to be told what was wrong. Your mother wants me to
cool it. So be it. I'll stay away.
  Hell. You shouldn't be hurt. I'm the one with all of the
problems. This should relieve you.
  I'm sorry I interrupted you "perfect" life.
  Perhaps I SHOULD believe Mr. Shaudt.
  I have finally let you go, but I will give you this curse as a
going away present: may the happiness that you find in the future
continually disappear from you -- just as it did for me. May you
have the foreboding emotion that life will disappear from you.
May the words that people give to you be broken before your very
eyes, because "something more important came up." Become what you
hate most of all -- maybe you become ME. Take care of yourself --
and may that be the only person who truly does.
  YOU should be ME, and see what happens to me in my life.
I wish you would have. It doesn't matter now.
  This chapter of my life has ended as I turn the page of life.
  I didn't want you to stop your life for me. I wanted to be a
part of it; where I could be counted on. It didn't happen. I hope
YOU can be happy for a while.
  Your mother can say what she wants. It won't affect the
outcome. I will stay away from you, just as she has always wanted
from the beginning. What is the use when even the parents were
against me from the start? Then, it's strictly business from now
on with them.
  But I am always evil. I'm wrong for writing this, and God knows
I will pay for it. I am greedy and selfish -- greedy for love,
and selfish for wanting you all to myself -- but Billy isn't
selfish for wanting you all to HIS self.
  "You shouldn't preoccupy yourself with one person."
Neither should you.
  Goodbye. I'm sure that the joke you played was "fun" for you
too.

  Brien sat at the computer for a long time, looking over the
note that he had written for Stacey.
  Damn how he hated her. There used to be love for her. He
remembered when it was pure bliss to think of her. It was so
happy for him. She made promises...she kept up his hopes...
  Then failed to keep her promises.
  "Son of a bitch," he whispered in rage, at the memory of her.
  He leaned back in the chair and rubbed the back of his head,
pulling his fingers through his short blonde hair. He grunted and
began to print out the note. He looked over it one more time,
sighing at what had become of their friendship.
  After it was finished, he sealed it in an envelope, signing the
outside with her name.
  He glanced over to the clock on the VCR. It was 10:36 pm. It
was time to go to bed. 'Nothing else to do tonight,' he thought
as he walked into his room.
  He threw the note onto his backpack, and sat on his bed. The
wood creaked somewhat. Brien sighed again.
  He laid back and put his hands behind his head. Why couldn't
things go right for him? Is it his curse? What had he done wrong?
All he wanted was love. He wanted love from her. She didn't want
to give her love to him.
  He clenched his teeth.
  "Never again," he said to himself. 'No matter what happens.'
  He reached over to the night-table, and turned off the light.
  
<< TWO >>

  Ed strolled into the back room of 'Paradise U.S.A.' He looked
at the equipment on the floor. There was a large disc-like
platform in the center of the room. Next to it was a video
camera, attached to a computer on a desk.
  It was dark. Ed didn't want to turn on the lights. He sat down
at the desk and put his head back, thinking about the events that
had chronicled his life in the past few years. His mind slipped
back to that Tuesday.

   He had ended his friendship with the woman who he used to
love. He didn't care anymore. At the time though, it hurt his
whole soul; not only his heart. He cried and cried as he walked
the long journey back home, the one he had taken so many times
when he returned from school. He got about half-way, before he
couldn't walk anymore. His legs gave out. He couldn't think of
anything but the vision of her face. Her smile. Her voice.
  He tried to shake it out of his head, but it stayed there;
almost tormenting him. He wanted to forget about love. He wanted
to forget about himself. He wanted to forget the world.
  That was when he heard the footsteps in front of him. Through
tear-strained eyes, he looked up and the old man who now looked
down upon him.
  The old man seemed to stare into Ed's very soul with a kind,
considerate face. For some reason, Ed felt better. The old man
stuck a hand out to him.
  Ed looked at it for a brief moment, then took it.
  With surprising strength, the old man pulled him up.
  "Are you alright?" he said.
  Ed wiped his face. "Could be better," he gave as his answer,
which was his usual line when people would ask him the same
question.
  That is when Ed noticed the old man's garb. It was almost like
a robe: a white suit with two black pieces of material on each
shoulder.
  "Are you a priest?" Ed asked.
  The old man chuckled delightfully. "No, my young friend."
  "Then who are you?"
  "My name is Gokuraku. I specialize in helping people with their
problems."
  Ed didn't quite understand. 
  The old man saw and tried to clarify things. "I help people in
your case: broken hearts."
  Ed was shocked. "How...how did you know?"
  "You saw me staring into your soul, right?"
  Ed slowly nodded. He didn't know why, but he nodded.
  "I need your help, though."
  "I don't know what I can do for you," Ed said as he turned to
look out into the line of houses.
  "I need you to help me...to help people like you."
  "I've never helped anybody in my life."
  Gokuraku shook his head. "You have helped more people than you
can imagine, Ed."
  Ed turned back to him. "How did you know my name?"
  "I know more about you than even YOU know."
  Ed had a sense of calmness descend over him. "What can I do?"
  "I will have to tell you about what I do, before you can fully
realize your potential to help me."
  Slowly, Gokuraku told him about being pure-of-heart, the Video
Girls, and all of what they were about. Ed nodded at different
intervals, and the story seeped into his consciousness.
  Ed sighed. "So, what can I do? Do you have one of these Video
Girls for me?"
  "It's not like that. I need you to operate one of my stores
here in the United States. At this day and age, there are many
people who have their hearts broken.
  "I need you to help create the Video Girls for the shop in the
U.S."
  "Why? Everything I create or do always backfires, which leaves
nothing left but pain."
  Gokuraku shook his head again. "No. You don't give yourself
enough credit." He touched Ed's shoulder. "You have the gift of a
caring and forgiving soul, one which I would need. Need to help
the other peoples of the world. You can help them."
  Ed thought long and hard. Why did he believe this old man who
appeared from nowhere? Why? It's all so strange. But...he felt a
sense of sincerity in the old man's face. Ed believed him.
  "Okay. I'll do it."

  Ed stood up from the desk and walked to the disc and kneeled
before it. Opening up his arms, he let his mind open, and his
emotions take over as his eyes slowly closed. He brought his arms
into the air, then drew them downward. He cupped his hands in
front of them, then spread them out again.
  The air above the disc started to turn light blue, like the
color of the ocean. The air rippled.
  The computer chirped, "Video Girl base completed. Commencing
digitization of base."
  The camera's lens focused upon the air. The image was
downloaded into the computer's memory, and placed onto the
screen.
  Ed did not hear the computer. His mind was already sorting
through the nearly infinite possibilities of "life." In effect,
he had become a god. He could create the lives of the Video
Girls. They were not real. To him, they were all his children,
and treasured every moment that he had spent selecting the
features and personality that they were composed of.
  Ed stood up, eyes still shut, and arms still moving in their
own ecstatic dance. The air began to take shape. Slowly, the body
filtered into plain sight. The feet, legs, hips, waist, chest,
arms and head.
  "Video Girl skeletal mesh completed. Commencing digitization of
mesh."
  Ed's movements became more ragged as the actual features of the
body were shifting into shape. The eyes and nose. Lips and
cheekbones. The ears. The black hair dropped to her shoulders in
straight locks. The neck. The breasts.
  "Video Girl features completed. Commencing digitization of
features."
  Ed stopped. He slowly opened his eyes. Tears had welled in
them, and flew in torrents down his cheeks. They were tears of
joy. He was so happy every time he had created another of his
children.
  There was one last things to do.
  Her emotions.
  Stepping onto the disc, he placed his hands up to her face, and
stroked her cheeks with his hands. He marveled at the softness of
her skin.
  He bent his head down and kissed her lips.
  Small tremors started to shake her. Ed could feel the tingling
in her body, as part of his own soul was given to her. He stepped
back off of the disc.
  "Live...," Ed said. "Live...Koshi Hosoi."
  The air yet again swam around Hosoi's body. Wisps of green mist
encircled to her naked body, collecting around her limbs,
creating a set of clothing for her. The small robe gracefully
clung to her small, slender body, and a bow pulled back her hair.
  "Video Girl creation sequence completed. Commencing final
digitization."
  The form of Hosoi was again recorded with the camera.
  "Final digitization completed. Debugging process initiated."
There was a silence as the computer ran through its algorithms,
and Ed studied the figure in front of him.
  "No bugs detected," the computer said, at last. "Programming
completed. Commence with final recording?"
  "Yes," Ed sighed, wiping his face.
  "Confirmed. Commencing with final recording."
  Ed watched as Hosoi began to vanish from sight, as she began
part of the tape.
  "Recording complete."
  Ed removed the tape from the camera and placed it in a tape
case.
  The door opened to the room. A young lady stepped in. Her name
was Kokoro Itamu. She was the first person that Ed had created.
She was born the same day that he had met the old man on the
street. She was small, and dainty, with red hair flowing past her
shoulder, down to her waist. Her blue eyes gazed at him with a
child-like inquisitiveness. She wore a short skirt and a blouse.
  He created her as not only a test, but to help with the
operation of 'Paradise U.S.A.' Not many people could see their
store. In the past two years, only twenty, give or take five,
entered the store and were given memberships. Ed knew not if he
had helped them, or sent them to their doom.
  She stepped forward. "Yasashuii Shujin," she spoke, lowering
her head.
  Ed stepped toward her. "Please, don't call me that. It makes me
feel uncomfortable."
  She raised her head. "There is a young man outside. He seems to
be uninterested with the store. None of the Video Girls catch his
attention."
  Ed was puzzled. No matter who entered, there was always a tape
that they picked before they left. "Impossible."
  "I thought so as well.
  "Has he checked the entire store?"
  "Yes. Thrice. I thought maybe you could help him. I am at a
loss."
  "Don't worry."
  Kokoro left. Ed was about to follow when he turned back to the
desk, and picked up Hosoi's tape.

<< THREE >>  

  Brien walked slowly along the grounds of the school. High
school. Some say it was the best times of a person's life. Not
essentially for him. It was full of heartache, broken promises,
and unfulfilled wishes.
  Whoever said that high-school was grand should be shot.
  He looked up and saw Stacey talking to a few of her friends.
All he did was walk up to her.
  She looked up at him. He slid the envelope into the book she
carried in her arms.
  He began to walk away.
  "Hey!" she called after him.
  Brien didn't want to look at her, but he did.
  "Don't I get a hug?" she asked.
  Brien didn't want to, but...but...but he did.
  "You don't have to talk to me to do it," she said.
  Brien hadn't been on speaking terms with her for a week. Only
cold statements as a 'business operative.'
  He walked off.
  "Bye," she said.
  Brien didn't answer.
  The long walk home was his only comfort. Why couldn't she love
HIM for once? Despite everything that was done...for HER.
  "No," Brien said. "I don't want to think about it."
  Yet, the thoughts didn't vanish from his mind. He didn't want
to think. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to let
out the pent up emotions that had been clawing at his heart.
  He lost track of where he was, and how much time had passed, as
his mind was trapped in a world of its own.
  His shoe-lace was untied. He kneeled down to re-tie it. That is
when he looked up and saw the small shop ahead of him.
  "Paradise U.S.A.?" he said to himself. 
  He walked up to it, reading the sandwich-board sign in front of
the store aloud. "Welcome to 'Paradise U.S.A.', U.S. division of
'Neo-Gokuraku of Japan.' Where your dreams come true. We know you
are hurt. Please come in." Brien shook his head. "Why not?"
  He walked in. The store was full of tapes. He gazed up and down
the aisles, looking at the tapes. Video Girls. He picked up one
of them. "Aikyo Kiken. Age, seventeen. Charming and full of life.
Wants to be your friend." He put it down and looked at another.
"Kinu Koe. Age, sixteen. Her voice can soothe your soul. She will
sing for your happiness."
  'What the hell are these tapes? Adult movies?' he thought to
himself.
  "Can I help you?" a voice behind him said.
  Brien turned to see a red-haired woman behind him. "I... Uh...
I'm just looking around."
  She smiled. "Well, you'll need a membership card." She handed
him a piece of plastic, about the size of a credit card. He took
it into his hands and looked at it. "Are there any membership
fees?"
  "No. There are no membership fees or rental fees. When you want
to check something out, just come in and take it."
  Brien was puzzled. "Do I need to sign this card or anything?"
He looked down at the holder's name.
  Brien Wilk.
  Brien was baffled. "How... Why is my name on this? How do you
know my name?"
  "Didn't you read the sign outside? I was just a matter of time
before you saw this store. Only those that are pure of heart can
see."
  "Excuse me?"
  "Your heart-ache makes you pure. You hate her now, but you do
not wish to. You think there is no choice, but you are unsure.
That makes you pure." She looked at the shelf next to him. "I see
you have found the Video Girls?"
  Brien looked around nervously. "Is that what they are called? I
thought they were adult movies."
  "This is usually the first shelf that people find when they
enter. They are here to comfort those like you. Pick one."
  Brien looked at the tapes.
  Two hours later, Brien had looked at every tape in the store
three times. "There's nothing here that interests me."
  She looked at him with a puzzled expression. "That's odd.
Anyone and everyone who comes in finds someone that they like."
  Brien shook his head. "There is none."
  Kokoro almost went into shock. Had the shop failed in some way?
What if they couldn't help this young man? Then they would be a
failure. "Just a moment," she said. "I'll speak with the manager.
Please stay here."
  "Okay," Brien sighed.

<< FOUR >>

  Ed stepped out of the room. "Where is he?"
  Kokoro led him to Brien, who was standing in the middle of the
store.
  Ed froze in his tracks when he saw him. Gokuraku also gave Ed
the power to see into people's minds and hearts. He saw what
Brien had gone through.
  Ed shook off the nagging emotions. "Kokoro say that you didn't
find someone you like here?"
  Brien nodded.
  "None of them? Are you sure?"
  "I've looked at all of them."
  'Did I do a good enough job? I've failed.' Ed looked down at
the tape that he had just made. "Perhaps you'll like this tape."
He handed it to Brien.
  Brien looked at it. "Koshi Hosoi. Age, seventeen. Shy and
quiet. She wants nothing more than to be your companion."
  Brien saw some sort of fascination with the girl in the
picture. He nodded.
  "Do you like it?" Ed asked.
  "Yes," Brien said, unable to take his sight from Hosoi's
picture.
  Ed breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. I hope she can help you."
  Brien looked up. Ed and Kokoro were gone.
  "Weird," he said as he edged his way to the door.

  After he had left, Ed and Kokoro came back out.
  "They was close," she said. "I almost panicked because I didn't
know what to do. I am sorry, Yasashuii Shujin."
  "You did the right thing," he said.
  Kokoro looked at him. "You seem a little pale. What happened?"
  Ed began walking to the back room again. "I think I just saw
myself leave."

                    >>> END OF PART 1 <<<
