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          RANMA 1/2: THE DRAGON COMB MYSTERY -- PART 1

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                    A FanFic by Ed Hrzic
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Okay, so I put my Ranma FanFic out before I completed Macross:
Ecstatic Vision. Hopefully, those Ranma addicts out there will
act favorably to it. My congrats to Chris Shumacher for the fab
"Crys Saga." If you have any questions or comments, direct them
to me at bd981@@ yfn.ysu.edu.
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(We begin above the clouds, we catch a few shots of sea-gulls as
we pan downward to the ocean. A young man is standing upon a
large piece of driftwood, floating along with the tide. A pair of
red, wire-rimmed glasses frame his face, and has a back-pack. He
wears blue-jeans for pants, and has two silver combs in each of
the back pockets. Otherwise, with red shirt and ponytail, he
looks like Ranma. He has his eyes closed, and his arms are
folded.)

(A large tanker drifts toward him. It starts passing by him.)

HELMSMAN. (seeing the man) Uh, Captain?
CAPTAIN. (approaching him) Yes, what is it?
HELMSMAN. There's a strange object floating in the water next to
us. Possibly a ship-wrecked person.
(The Captain leaves the cabin, and walks to the railing to the
side of the ship. He looks down at the man. The Helmsman comes
out as well.)
CAPTAIN. Ahoy there! Can we give you some assistance?
HELMSMAN. What's your name?
(The man looks up.)
TRALE. My name is Trale. I only have one question. (He pauses as
they listen intently) Which way to Japan?
(The Helmsman and Captain look at each other. They both point in
the opposite direction the tanker was coming from.)
TRALE. Thank you both. (Trale continues away)
CAPTAIN. I'm getting too old for this.
HELMSMAN. You and me both. Remember we saw those two other
weirdos swimming past us to China that one time?
CAPTAIN. (Pulls out a bottle of Sake and drinks deeply) Don't
remind me. (The Helmsman takes the bottle and drinks as well as
they both enter the cabin again)

(Several hours later, Trale sees the shore of Japan. As he
approaches the shoreline, he jumps off of the piece of driftwood,
and lands upon the sand. Two small children, playing with a
volleyball, scamper past him. He finally realizes he is on a
public beach. He pulls his hair out of the ponytail. There is a
bright flash as he pulls one of the combs out and straightens up
his hair. He then puts his hair back into a ponytail. He begins
walking for the road, despite weird looks from several people.)

(Meanwhile, somewhere else...)

(Ranma is pursuing Hopposai down the street. Hopposai is grinning
like an idiot and jumping around, as he holds several pairs of
panties in his hands.)
RANMA-KUN. Come back here you little perverted freak!
HOPPOSAI. Fat chance Ranma! (He leaps over a wall, onto the next
street. Ranma follows)

(Down that same street...)

(Kuno is walking down the street. Sasuke is walking beside him,
bent over as he carries a very large, very tasteless cake.)
SASUKE. Master... (he struggles with it) do you think that... (he
stumbles some) this could be just a little too much for Akane?
KUNO. I doubt that very much.
(Ranma and Hopposai tear down the street. Sasuke and Kuno fail to
see them. Hopposai jumps at Kuno, then over him. Kuno slightly
bumps Sasuke. He is about to spill the cake when he regains his
footing. Ranma jumps on Kuno's shoulders, and leaps off in
pursuit of Hopposai again. Kuno spins around and falls right into
the cake.)
KUNO. (Wiping the mess from his face.) My...my cake! AKANE'S
CAKE! RANMA SAOTOME (he pulls out his bokken), YOU SHALL DIE! (he
begins running after Ranma)
SASUKE. (Sits up. He takes a finger-full of icing and eats it)
Too sweet though.

(Back to Trale...)
(Trale wanders around for a bit. He turns down a street, and
stops in front of Ukkyo's Ryokan. He pushes the small drape out
of the way, and takes a step inside.)
TRALE. Boy am I hungry. Nice place though. I wonder who owns it?
(Ukkyo comes walking in after making a delivery, and sees Trale
sitting down at the bar. She notices the ponytail, and mistakes
him for Ranma.)
UKKYO. Ran-chan! (see throws her arms around him. Trale gasps)
I'm so glad you came! What can I do for you?
TRALE. Uh...excuse me...
UKKYO. What, Ran-chan?
TRALE. I think you have me mistaken with someone else.
UKKYO. What do you... (she takes a look at his face) when did you
start wearing glasses?
TRALE. I've always worn glasses.
UKKYO. Nonsense Ranma. I saw you just this morning, and you
weren't wearing them.
TRALE. (struggling from her grip and yelling) I tell you, I don't
know what you're talking about! (Ukkyo backs off a bit. Trale
shakes his head) I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to yell. 
UKKYO. I guess you aren't Ranma after all.
TRALE. I came in to get something to eat, and for some
information.
UKKYO. What can I get you them?
TRALE. Something good. I don't know much about Japanese food. I
haven't spent any time in Japan at all.
UKKYO. (puzzled) Then why are you speaking in Japanese?
TRALE. (adjusting the glasses on his face) Every nationality in
anime knows Japanese. (his lenses flash with light)
UKKYO. (mutters an ah and begins to fry the batter on the grill)
So, who exactly are you?
TRALE. My name's Trale. I'm a bit of a wanderer.
UKKYO. (she smiles) Just like an acquaintance of mine.
TRALE. I've been searching for a friend of mine that I used to
know several years ago in China. 
(Cut to a flashback)
(A shadowed boy is teaching a young Trale how to jump kick.)
TRALE VOICE-OVER. He taught me some of his martial arts.
(Another picture depicts Trale smashing a rock in half.)
TRALE VOICE-OVER. It's helped me out a great deal. 
(Back to Ryokan).
TRALE. I'd like to meet him again, to thank him, to show him how
I've progressed.
UKKYO. (not paying much attention as she flips the pancake) What
was his name?
TRALE. (he leans on the bar) That's the problem.
UKKYO. (leans forward toward him) What's the problem?
TRALE. I haven't a clue. (they then both back off)
UKKYO. (sighs deeply) I don't know if I can help you. (she puts
the pancake on a plate and says) Here ya go.
TRALE. Thanks. (he starts eating it slowly)

(On that same street)
KUNO. Ranma! Come back here an face your payment for destroying
my cake!
RANMA. Oh great, Kuno's here too! (Ranma passes by Ukkyo's)
TRALE. (steps outside, and talks into the shop) Thanks again, it
really hit the spot.
UKKYO. (from in Ryokan) You're welcome.
KUNO. RANMA! (he swings his bokken)
TRALE. (turns to Kuno's yell. He pulls both combs out of the
backs of his pockets. he parries the bokken with the left, and
slashes with the right, tearing a hole in the torso area of
Kuno's costume)
KUNO. (reeling from the attack) You are... (he squints at Trale)
not Ranma! (he smiles and laughs) But that shall not save you!
You have now made an enemy of Tatewaki Kuno! (fires blaze around
him) The Blue Thunder of Furin-kan High School! (lightning
strikes his out-stretched bokken) Tremble before me!
TRALE. (shocked) Uh-oh. I think I made him mad. (Kuno continues
with his usual speech) Perhaps I'll run while he's still giving
his credentials... (Trale disappears in a cloud of dust, running
in the same direction as Ranma)
KUNO. (sees Trale running) Where are you going swine?! You must
take your punishment!
(Trale leaps over a wall, intent on losing Kuno. Kuno merely cuts
a hole in the wall to pursue him.

(Up ahead...)

MOUSSE. (carrying a medium sized cake, without his glasses in his
hair) Gee, I hope this cake will lessen the tensions between
Shampoo and I. Perhaps she'll go out on a date with me... (Mousse
has a fantasy of asking Shampoo out. As in all fantasies, she
says yes. As well cut back to reality, Mousse is grinning)
(Trale takes a look behind him, and fails to see Mousse in front
of him. As he turns back forward, he runs into Mousse. The cake
splats all over him. Trale mutters a sorry as he continues to
run.)
MOUSSE. (barely seeing Trale's ponytail) Ah-hah! Ranma! You shall
not escape unscathed! (he initiates pursuit as well)
TRALE. (looks back to see Mousse and Kuno chasing him) Things
don't look as well as they could...

(Even farther ahead...)

RYOGA. (carries a small cake as well) Now, if I could only find
my way to Akane's house. (he turns as he hears yells and
footfalls from behind him) What the...
TRALE. (tearing up the ground behind him) EXCUSE ME! OUTTA THE
WAY! (He crashes into Ryoga. Ryoga is left dazed upon the ground
for a few moments)
RYOGA. (thinks for a moment. he catches a small flashback before
the crash) Ranma? Was that...? (he stands and makes a cool
poster-shot type pose) RANMA! (he chases Trale)
TRALE. (looks behind at the trio running after him) Who the hell
are all of these weirdos? (he turns back froward) Was there a
special on cakes today?
KUNO. Ranma...
MOUSSE. Ranma...
RYOGA. RANMA!
TRALE. (stops dead in his tracks and turns to them. he puts up
his hand) STOP FOR ONE BLOODY MOMENT! (All pause in mid run, then
automatically pop into a calm form. Trale calms down) Just who is
this Ranma?
MOUSSE. (puts on his glasses) You appear to be Ranma, but
something's different...
KUNO. I agree wholeheartedly. Ranma does not wear spectacles.
TRALE. Glasses. But you still haven't answered my question.
KUNO. Yes.
RYOGA. If you aren't Ranma, then who are you?
MOUSSE. He's the one who destroyed my cake that was for Shampoo!
RYOGA. Yeah! He smashed mine that was meant for Akane!
KUNO. Mine as well! (All three make their fighting poses -- Kuno
extends his bokken, Mousse pulls a spear from his robe, and Ryoga
brandishes his umbrella)
KUNO. Prepare to meet thy maker, young fool!
TRALE. Uh, fellas, can we talk this over?
(Mousse swings with his spear)
TRALE. Guess not. (he unsheathes the combs from his back pocket
and makes his own fighting stance. the combs glow green, and he
slashes downward, cutting the Mousse's spear in half.)
MOUSSE. Eh? (Trale kicks straight forward, sending him backward)
TRALE. (dodges Ryoga's umbrella and Kuno's bokken) I HAVE to
remember to dodge any people with cakes from now on.
(All three continue to fight.)

(On the next road...)

HOPPOSAI. Ha Ranma! You are just way too slow. (he turns and
sticks out his tongue. He then jumps on a wall and sees the fight
ensuing. he stops)
RANMA. (leaps upon the wall and grabs him) Who's slow now, old
man? (he sees the fight as well)
TRALE. Can we stop now? I'm not really in the mood to do this!
KUNO. If not, (attacks) then stand and receive what's coming to
you!
TRALE. (ducking) I think not my good man. (he rolls backward)
This has gone on long enough! (he spins the combs around in his
hands and places them forward. the background turns black)
RANMA. Huh? What's he doing?
TRALE. ***KINETIC BLAZING DRAGON COMB BLAST!***
(A huge wave-motion cannon type blast erupts from the combined
powers of the combs. Mousse, Ryoga, and Kuno are swept up in it.
The screen goes white)
(Ranma and Hopposai look with wide, disbelieving eyes)
TRALE. (breathes heavily) Whew. (A crowd has gathered around
them. Mousse is up in a tree. Kuno is laying upon the wall next
to Ranma and Hopposai. Ryoga is laying on the ground. all are
making the usual anime "I've gotten beat and I can't get up"
looks on their faces. Trale begins to walk away)
KUNO. (looks up and sees Ranma. Then he looks and sees Trale
leaving) That wasn't Ranma? What's going on...? (he falls
unconscious again)
HOPPOSAI. Hmmm.
RANMA. What old man? What are you "hmmming" about?
HOPPOSAI. The past, student. I feel as though I know that
fighting style from somewhere.
RANMA. (bending over him) Just what, or who, don't you know?
HOPPOSAI. You are very naive Ranma.
RANMA. Yeah, and you're a leach. (Ranma places his foot at the
back of Hopposai's head, and launches him into what appears to be
the upper atmosphere) Old fool.

(Somewhere else...)

TRALE. (walking) This city is too crazy. Why'd I come here in the
first place? (In the distance. He sees a panda sweeping the
street in front of a house. He stops in front of the panda and
takes a look at him. The panda regards him with equal interest)
GENMA. [What are you looking at? Never seen a panda clean up
before?]
TRALE. Huh? (reading the sign) Oh! Not really. (he reads the
plaque outside of the house) Hmmm. "Tendo's Anything Goes Martial
Arts Training Hall". Why not? I guess I can read Japanese too.
Sounds like a good idea. (Genma makes several weird gestures)
TRALE. (pulls out a stick of bamboo from heaven knows where. He
gives it to Genma and Trale pats him on the head) Good boy.
(Genma's face turns into a "I can't believe that just happened"
face)
(Trale walks into the courtyard, and knocks on the door. Kasumi
is vacuuming in the living room. Trale knocks again. She hears
and answers the door.)
KASUMI. Ranma, you didn't have... Oh, you're not Ranma.
TRALE. You know, you're the fifth person today to mistake me for
this Ranma.
KASUMI. Well, yes. What can I do for you?
TRALE. I'd like to join the dojo.
KASUMI. Join? My father isn't here right now. In fact, nobody is.
TRALE. Oh.
KASUMI. Would you like to come in and wait for them?
TRALE. Uh...sure. (he follows her into the living room)
KASUMI. Have a seat there. (he does. she leaves for a bit then
comes back) Would you like some tea?
TRALE. (puts down his pack) Yeah, I guess so...
KASUMI. (she comes back almost instantly with a tray) Here you
are. (she sets the tray down on the table, and is about to pour
the tea)
TRALE. (stops her) No, let me do that.
KASUMI. It's no troub... (Trale takes the teapot and pours a cup)
You didn't have to do that.
TRALE. My parents taught me to do anything for a lady.
KASUMI. That's nice. (she smiles brightly)
TRALE. (eyes her with obviously curiosity) <Is she for real?> (he
shakes his head)
KASUMI. Troubles?
TRALE. Huh? No.
KASUMI. What's your name?
TRALE. Trale.
KASUMI. Trale? Where are you from?
TRALE. The States. I just like to wander around.
(Trale and Kasumi talk for a long while, as Soun comes home)
KASUMI. (she stands and walks out to the door) Father!
SOUN. (walking in) Yes?
KASUMI. You have a visitor.
SOUN. A visitor? About what? (He walks into the living room and
sees Trale)
KASUMI. He wants to join the dojo.
(Soun looks down ar him intently.)
TRALE. What?
SOUN. Hmmm.
TRALE. The next person who does that is going to get...
SOUN. Please follow me, young man.
TRALE. If you say so.

(Cut to the dojo...)
(Soun and Trale are standing far apart. Genma walks in and sits
down, chewing on bamboo.)
TRALE. (inquisitively) By the way, what's with the panda?
SOUN. We'll...talk about that later.
TRALE. Does this mean I've joined?
SOUN. Possibly. Have you had any martial art experience before?
TRALE. Oh, a little that a friend taught me.
SOUN. (laughs) Well, it's better than starting at the beginning.
Then, let's see what you've got.
(Fast paced combat music accompanies the battle.)
(Soun charges at him. Trale flips backward, kneeling on the
ground. Soun closes in again. Trale sweeps his leg forward, Soun
jumps upward and comes down. Trale punches forward. Soun jumps
backward.)
SOUN. (folding his arms) Not bad, so far.
TRALE. Do you mind if I use a weapon or two?
SOUN. (shrugs) I don't see why not.
(Trale pulls the two combs from his pockets, and makes a fighting
stance. Genma and Soun laugh hysterically.)
TRALE. What's so funny?
SOUN. Combs?
TRALE. (pulls back, and tosses one at Soun, it spins by him,
right in front of Genma, then returns to his hand. Soun's pants
fall to his ankles and Genma's bamboo is shredded into several
pieces that fall to his lap.)
SOUN. (retying his pants, he laughs stupidly) Well then, I've
learned my lesson.
TRALE. Shall we continue, or talk all night?
SOUN. There can be one who is too eager. Don't overestimate
yourself, and don't underestimate your opponent.
(Trale attacks, shredding the floor where Soun once stood. Soun
was now behind him. Trale closes in and commences hand-to-comb
fighting. )

(Outside...)

(Ranma arrives back at the dojo. Kasumi is washing dishes.)
RANMA. Hey Kasumi, where's everybody?
KASUMI. (stopping) Father's in the dojo right now, teaching a new
applicant.
RANMA. Uh...applicant? For what?
KASUMI. The dojo.

(Back to the dojo...)

(Trale is hit and rolls backward to the wall.)
TRALE. Ow!
SOUN. Told you.
TRALE. (gets up and channels his energy into the combs)
***REELING DRAGON ENERGY STREAM!*** (The bolts fly at Soun, who
blocks them and stands his ground)
GENMA. [Nice.]
SOUN. That's just about enough for right now.
TRALE. (puts the combs away) You're the boss.
SOUN. (walks up to Trale and puts his hand on his shoulder)
You've got the skill it takes. Where will you be staying if I
need to get in contact with you? And, just what is your name?
TRALE. My name's Trale, and to tell you the truth, I don't know
where I'm staying.
SOUN. (slaps his hands on Trale's shoulders a few times) Well
then, you'll stay with us. We have another room.
(Ranma enters)
SOUN. (hearing the door open) Ah, Ranma! Meet our newest student!
RANMA. <It's him. From earlier today.>
TRALE. You're Ranma? Finally I get to meet you. I've been
mistaken for you several times today.
SOUN. I don't know about all of you, but I've worked up quite an
appetite! Let's eat! (he and Genma leave)
(Trale and Ranma are left in silence for a moment)
TRALE. You realize why I'm here.
RANMA. What?
TRALE. (his glasses flash with light) Don't tell me you've
forgotten already.
RANMA. Forgotten what? (Trale walks out past Ranma. after
thinking, Ranma turns) Forgotten about what? Just who are you?
TRALE. I'm Trale. And that's all I'll tell you for right now.

(Fade to black as Ranma stands in the doorway of the dojo,
thinking.)


<< END OF PART ONE >>

Previous parts may be found at ftp.std.com in
customers2/archives/anime-fan-works/Ranma. Direct any comments to
me at "bd981@@yfn.ysu.edu".

And now...

<< Ranma 1/2: The Dragon Comb Mystery -- Part 2 >>

[Here we have a lovely Sunday morning. The sun is coming up and
the birds are singing. Everyone is asleep except for Kasumi, who
is bustling about the kitchen. Akane opens her eyes and looks at
the ceiling. She looks at the clock. It reads 7:00 am. She sits
up then leaves the room. She walks downstairs and passes Kasumi.]

AKANE. (yawning) 'Morning, Kasumi.
KASUMI. Good morning, Akane.
AKANE. (She walks into the laundry room.) <Ranma was thinking
pretty hard last night. He wouldn't tell me what it was. That's
unusual for him to be so quiet.> (She takes off her clothes and
drapes a towel in front of herself. She opens the door. She walks
into the bathroom and sees that water is already in the tub. She
sticks her hand in, and tests the temperature. She then steps in
and sinks back to her neck.)
TRALE. (From the other side of the tub) Nice legs.

[She looks disbelieving at him. She turns bright red. She then
jumps out of the tub and wraps the towel around her in one swift
motion. She opens, then closes the door. She walks back over to
Trale who looks up at her.]

[We cut to a picture of the Tendo Dojo exterior. We hear a VERY
loud "smack!" followed by a VERY loud "youch!" followed by
Akane's VERY loud, ear-piercing scream. We cut to scenes of
everyone else in the house waking up.]

AKANE. (scrambling out into the living kitchen wearing her gi,
which she pulled out of nowhere) He did it again! That pervert!
Ooooohhhhh!
KASUMI. Hmmm? Oh, that must be Trale. He was taking a bath.
TRALE. Who? What?

[Everyone runs downstairs into the kitchen, all still in their
evening wear.]

SOUN. What's wrong?
RANMA. What happened Akane?
AKANE. Ranma? If you're there... (she turns)
TRALE. (walking to the crowd. He's rubbing his cheek a bit from
his wound) What's the problem, aside from the uptight, hot-headed
girl out there?
AKANE. (angered) UPTIGHT?
SOUN. (waves) Oh, hello Trale.

[Ranma stares at Trale. Trale returns the glare.]
AKANE. (REALLY angry) HOT-HEADED?
TRALE. (folding his arms) Sorry everybody. (to Akane) You should
have knocked first.
AKANE. ME? JUST WHO ARE YOU?

[Trale puts on his glasses.]

SOUN. Akane, let me introduce you to our newest student, Trale.
He's joined the dojo.
AKANE. Joined the dojo? Trale? Looks like Ranma?
NABIKI. (looking closely at Trale.) He DOES look a bit like
Ranma, without the glasses that is.
TRALE. (ignoring her) I'm starving. Kasumi, are you making more
of that wonderful food of yours?
KASUMI. (laughs) Why, yes Trale.
TRALE. Great! Let's eat!

[He walks to the living room, followed by Soun and Genma, Kasumi
then follows with a tray of food.]

AKANE. (Akane falls to her knees) This isn't shaping up to be a
good life.
NABIKI. Ranma, who was that?
RANMA. Why me? I haven't the slightest clue. He appeared from
nowhere. Yesterday, he thrashed Kuno, Ryoga and Mousse. From what
I've seen though, he's a decent martial artist.
AKANE. (stands) Sorry. I thought it was you in there Ranma.
RANMA. You'd think I'd voluntarily look at a tom-boy like you
Akane?

[Cut to Tendo Dojo exterior. Ranma flies through the wall.]

NABIKI. <Wait. If HE looks like Ranma...> (Nabiki has a scheme.
Pictures of Kodachi, Ukkyo, Shampoo, Trale and Ranma fly through
her mind. We focus back to reality. Nabiki is grinning. Dollar
signs replace her eyes. We hear a cash register ring.) <I'll make
a fortune!>
AKANE. (looking back at Nabiki) What are you grinning about?
NABIKI. (regains her composure and giggles) Oh, nothing! Let's
eat or the food'll get cold. (she goes to the living room.)
AKANE. (following her) I've got a really bad-feeling about
this...

[A little later. The family is seated in their usual positions
around the table. Ranma has a bandage across his cheek.]

SOUN. So, exactly where are you from?
GENMA. Yes, where?
SOUN. You're martial art style is unlike much that I've seen. And
using combs as weapon?

[Ranma, Akane and Nabiki gag on their drinks.]

NABIKI. Combs? Did I hear you right?
TRALE. (whips them out of his pocket and points it at Nabiki)
Yep, you heard right.
AKANE. (seeing the dragon over the handle of the comb) Oohh,
nice.
RANMA. Silver, too.
TRALE. (pulling the comb back and looking at it) Yeah, I got them
from (he thinks) a friend. (he thinks again) I think.
GENMA. You think?
TRALE. To tell you the truth, I'm not really sure. I just
appeared in Japan yesterday. I don't really know much else.

[The whole family, except Kasumi, looks at him intently.]

TRALE. (looking around nervously at them) What?
SOUN. Just what are you here for?
TRALE. All I know is, that I'm supposed to find someone who
taught me some of his martial arts back in China. That's all I
know.

[They all sit back.]

TRALE. Sorry. I know just as much as you do.

[The Twilight Zone music echoes in the background. Genma and Soun
are off stage. They are playing the music. Genma finishes the
drums. They sit back down.]

TRALE. When did you two become musicians?
SOUN & GENMA. Just a hobby.
TRALE. So, what shall we do today?
AKANE. Well, mostly anything. Hey, Trale?
TRALE. Yeah?
AKANE. You said you were a martial artist, right?
TRALE. Not really. (glancing at Genma and Soun) Just a hobby
though. 

[Soun and Genma chuckle.]

AKANE. Why don't we have a little match?

[All groan. Nabiki, Soun and Genma leave.]

KASUMI. Now, wouldn't that be nice? (she picks up the tray and
leaves)
TRALE. Sorry. You'd beat me to a pulp. Had I continued fighting
your father, he would have done the same.
AKANE. Then...
TRALE. No. I think you'd be too good. (he winks. Akane giggles.
she blushes.) And Akane? Sorry about scaring you in the bathroom.
AKANE. That's alright. (Ranma turns his head)
TRALE. (Trale notices) Oh, sorry for getting into your territory
there Ranma. You have a wonderful fiance there.
RANMA. (turns back) Huh?
TRALE. I apologize.
RANMA. And just what ARE you here for? Don't give me any of your
crap!
TRALE. Huh?
AKANE. What are you talking about Ranma.
RANMA. Yesterday, after the fight...

[flashback]

TRALE. You realize why I'm here.
RANMA. What?
TRALE (his glasses flash with light) Don't tell me you've
forgotten already.
RANMA. Forgotten what?

[Ranma and Akane are staring at Trale as we return to the
present. Trale laughs.]

RANMA. What are you laughing about?
TRALE. I don't know.
RANMA. This is getting old. (grabbing Trale's shirt) Just who the
hell are you?
TRALE. I told you, I DON'T KNOW! (Ranma drops him) Something...
something's coming though, and I don't know what it is. I'm
scared.
AKANE. What IS going on Trale?
TRALE. (he looks outside) I don't know.
RANMA. Let's see if we can find out. Doctor Tofu knows a lot
about this meta-physical stuff. Maybe he can help.
AKANE. (slamming her hands on the table) Ranma, that's a great
idea! One of the best you've had!
TRALE. (genuiinely interested) Do you think it'll help?
RANMA. We can try.

[Somewhere else...]

[A young girl steps off of a ship. She is tall and has green hair
that reaches her waist. It shadows her face. She wears a
backpack, jeans, and a t-shirt that reads "ETH" on it. She stops
in front of a worker on the dock.]

GIRL. Excuse me.
WORKER. Yes?
GIRL. Can you tell me which way to the Tendo dojo?
WORKER. Tendo dojo? (thinks a moment) Never heard of it. It might
be somewhere in town though. (the lady looks toward town) Are you
lost? (she walks off) Weird girl.

[Somewhere along the street a street. The typical Ranma "Running"
music is heard. Ranma is running along one wall, Akane on the
ground, and Trale on another.]

TRALE. (huff) I'm hungry.
RANMA. What?
TRALE. I'm hungry. When we get back, I'll ask Kasumi to make
something. (silent for a moment) Sorry I've been so weird.
AKANE. Don't worry. Ranma was at first as well.
RANMA. Grrrr...

[Down the street, Ryoga is walking...]

RYOGA. <Who was that strange kid. He looked just like Ranma. Are
they brothers or something? And where is the dojo?>
AKANE. (looking up ahead) Hey Ryoga!
RYOGA. (running up to her) Hi Akane! (Everybody stops running. he
glances up to Trale) It's him!
AKANE. Huh?
RYOGA. Yesterday! He humiliated Kuno, Mousse and I!
RANMA. Well it's not really that hard...
RYOGA. (crushes the wall Ranma was standing on. Ranma lands on
the ground from his jump) Ranma!
RANMA. (bowing sarcastically) What can I do for you Ryoga?
RYOGA. (pulling out his umbrella, and charges for Ranma) Prepare
to die! (Trale jumps in front of them) What do you want?
TRALE. This isn't Ranma's battle. It's mine. Remember? Ranma
didn't destroy your cake. I did.
RYOGA. That's right! (swings his umbrella. Ranma scatters to an
undamaged wall. Trale jumps back. He pulls out his combs)
TRALE. Look. I don't really want to fight.
RYOGA. Oh no?
TRALE. Yes. Okay, here. How about if I give you this cake
instead. (he hands Ryoga a cake. Ryoga takes it in his free
hand.)
RYOGA. Uh...thanks. (Ranma and Akane are puzzled as well)
TRALE. We're going to the Doctor's office. Care to join us?

[Cut to entrance of Doctor Tofu's building. The quartet arrives.]

RYOGA. What do you mean that you don't know anything else?
RANMA. It's just that. Nothing else.
RYOGA. You're lying.
TRALE. Am I? Why don't you tell me if I am?
RYOGA. I just did!
AKANE. Shut up you three! (calming down) Now, let's ask Doctor
Tofu the questions.
RANMA. Trale, just where did you pull that cake from?

[Cut to lounge. Ranma, Ryoga, and Akane are sitting around. Akane
is eating the cake.]

AKANE. Thanks for the cake Ryoga.
RYOGA. (embarrassed) Your welcome. Anything for you Akane.
RANMA. Grrr...
(The door opens. Doctor Tofu steps out.)
RANMA. Well Tofu? Have you got some answers?
TOFU. Please step inside.

[Cut to office.]

TOFU. Your friend here isn't real.
RANMA. Okay, so you HAVE flipped. Trale, have you been getting to
the poor doctor?
TRALE. Don't look at me.
TOFU. (adjusts the glasses on his face) What we have is a
corporeal entity, but is comprised of nothing.
RANMA. (confused) Would you explain that in plain Japanese?
TOFU. (clears his throat, and points to Trale) Trale is for all
intents and purposes, real -- physically anyway. As for mentally,
he has no memories, and past events. Various shreds of knowledge
have been integrated in his brain for specific reasons. He seems
to have been created for a purpose.
RYOGA. So what do you mean he "isn't real"?
TOFU. Take a look. (he picks up an ultra-violet lamp and shines
it in Trale's direction. Trale's torso and head disappears)
RANMA,AKANE,RYOGA. (all stand, shocked) Eh?
TOFU. (turns off the light. Trale fully returns) See what I mean?
TRALE. I don't feel so well.

[Cut to outside.]

RANMA. This is all too weird for me.
TRALE. For you? For you?! What about me? I don't even exist! I
feel like a bloody cartoon character! Only made for people's
cheap laughs!
AKANE. Trale... (Trale leaps away and runs down a road) 
RYOGA. I feel sorry for the poor kid.
RANMA. You and me both.

[Cut to walking...]

[Akane and Ryoga walk on the ground. Ranma also walks on the
ground for once.]

RANMA. I wonder what it all means?
AKANE. Ranma, you're not a philosopher.
RANMA. I'm serious. Look, he must be here for a reason. He said
so to me. He's here, and somewhere, buried in my skull, is the
reason.
AKANE. Then we'll never find it. You're head's thick enough.
RANMA. Akane, I'm serious about this.
RYOGA. Any possible clues?
AKANE. Revenge?
RYOGA. Money?

[Cut to top of school...]

TRALE. What am I here for? SOMEONE TELL ME! TELL ME MY LIFE'S NOT
A LIE! (he collapses on the roof and cries)

[Cut to walking again...]

AKANE. Food?
RYOGA. Help?
RANMA. I don't think it's any of them.
AKANE. (stops walking. they do as well) I DON'T SEE YOU HELPING
ANY! OKAY THEN WHAT DO *YOU* THINK HE'S HERE FOR?
MAN. (standing at the road juncture in front of them) Perhaps I
can be of some assistance to your problem, Akane. (they look. He
is dressed in jeans and a T-shirt that read "ETH". He wears a
backpack and glasses. he resembles Ranma slightly.)
AKANE. Trale?
MAN. Trale? Have you seen him?
RANMA. Uh yeah, he just ran off.
MAN. (bears his fangs and the screen around him burns with fire)
Damn! I've been looking for him forever!
RANMA. Wait, aren't you Trale?
MAN. (the screen returns to normal) Uh...no, Ranma. But...
RYOGA. Then who are you?
MAN. (points to himself) Oh? Me? My name's Ed, Ryoga.
AKANE. How do you know all of us?
ED. (his glasses flash) That's my secret.

<<< END OF PART 2 >>>

AKANE VOICE-OVER: Next on Ranma 1/2: The Dragon Comb Mystery...
RANMA VOICE-OVER: Who are is this new look-alike, Ed?
TRALE VOICE-OVER: What is my purpose?
NABIKI VOICE-OVER: Three Ranmas?! I'm make more money than I'd
ever think!
AKANE VOICE-OVER: Keep it down over there Nabiki.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
          Ranma 1/2: The Dragon Comb Mystery -- Part 3
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
                         by Ed Hrzic
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Previous parts may be found at ftp.std.com .
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, so I got a burst of Ranma inspiration after looking at the
listing of Ranma FanFics (there sure are a hell of a lotta 'em!)
Dragon Comb will probably run for 6 or more parts, then change to
"Ranma IS Real."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Direct any comments to me at "bd981@@yfn.ysu.edu".
-----------------------------------------------------------------

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Text between < and > are used to denote a
character's thoughts.

<<< CONTINUED FROM PART 2 >>>

[Akane, Ranma and Ryoga stand, looking at the young man that
stands down the road a bit from them.]

[Flashback.]

MAN. (points to himself) Oh? Me? My name's Ed, Ryoga.
AKANE. How do you know our names?
ED. (his glasses flash) That's my secret.

[Return to reality.]

RANMA. (buries his head in his hands) This is getting to be too
much for me to handle.
AKANE. (glancing at him) You and me both.
ED. (walking toward them) So, where is he?
RYOGA. Gone.
ED. Oh, well. I guess he'll show up sooner or later.
RANMA. (slapping his head) I need to think this through.
ED. (to Ranma) What's wrong?
RANMA. Trale pops up, tells me I don't remember...He isn't
real...Ed pops up...
ED. But, you do remember what he was talking about, right?
RANMA. Eh? Whadda you mean?
ED. (clears his throat) Let's see if even *I* can remember.
(thinks) China, you were 8 years old.
RANMA. (thinks) I follow you so far.
ED. When you and your father were camping out, didn't a young man
stumble upon you two?
RANMA. (thinks) Uh...
ED. You gave him some food, and for about 2 years, he hung around
you?
RANMA. (thinks) Duuuhhh...
AKANE. You'll have to excuse him, his brain has been vacationing
since birth.
ED. (chuckles and continues) Well, he studied some martial arts
with you for a while.
RANMA. Hmmm... (he seems to be remembering)
ED. Then, he disappeared, just as mysteriously as he had
appeared.
RANMA. I think...
ED. And you went to search for him, just before you and your
father had the accident in Jusenkyo.
RANMA. Yeah, just before the acc-Hey!
ED. (steps back) What?
RANMA. How did YOU know?
ED. Uh...would you believe a little bird told me? (he looks
around at Akane, Ranma and Ryoga who are closing in on him)
RYOGA. Try again.
ED. It would take too long to explain here. And, besides, I could
use some rest. I've been walking and standing nearly all day.
AKANE. Okay then, come with us.
ED. So I get to go to the Tendo's?
RANMA. Yeah.
ED. Cool! (Ed is obviously happy. he bounces around, does a few
cartwheels, etc.)
RANMA. (whispering to Akane) What's his problem?
AKANE. I don't know. If we want to, we better get him home.

[Cut to Tendo household. Kasumi is washing dishes. She hears the
door open. She walks out to greet them.]

KASUMI. Akane? Ranma?
AKANE. Hi sis.
KASUMI. Where's Trale?

[Ed walks in.]

KASUMI. Oh, there he is.
RANMA. It isn't Trale.
KASUMI. Eh?
AKANE. We don't understand either. He (she points at him), Ed,
will tell us.
ED. (gulp) I hope so.

[Cut to Tendo living room. Ed, Akane, Ranma and Ryoga sit around
the table.]

ED. I don't know where to begin.
AKANE. First, who are you?
ED. Well, my name's Ed.
AKANE. We know that. Your full name.
ED. Ed Hrzic. I'm a student in Rota, Spain.

[Akane, Ranma and Ryoga look at each other.]

AKANE,RANMA,RYOGA. Rota?
[Ed pulls out a map out of nowhere and puts in down on the table.
He points to southern Spain. READERS, please look get out a map
of Spain and look, too.]

ED. Right next to the peninsula of Cadiz.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: "Cadiz" in Castilian Spanish is pronounced "Kah-
deeth. Not "Ka-diz".]

RANMA. So what does it all mean?
ED. Just a little background info. (he takes off his backpack and
places it down on the ground) I was typing a FanFic one day at my
computer, and-
RYOGA. A FanFic? What's that?
ED. To tell you the truth, even I don't know. I think it's an
abbreviation for "Fan Fiction." I'll have to ask MegaZ when I get
back. Anyway, I was typing during a thunderstorm.
AKANE. Isn't that a little dangerous?
ED. Well, yeah, but I was typing, then the storm popped up. I
thought it would have passed, so I kept typing.
RANMA. And, what happened?
ED. Well, it didn't. Next thing I know, I wake up in China.
AKANE & RYOGA. China?
RANMA. How did you know it was China.
ED. There was a guy in green clothes, smoking a pipe, and
carrying a bunch of cue cards. Chinese character are more
intricate than Japanese kanji, so I guessed so, plus...

[Flashback.]

GUIDE. Hello sir!
ED. (getting up) Ow...what happened?
GUIDE. You fall from orbit. Very bad. (he helps Ed up)
ED. Where am I?
GUIDE. You in China.
ED. (goes berserk) CHINA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? What the hell am I
doing in China?!?!?!?!
GUIDE. I not know, why are you?

[Ed peers at the guide.]

GUIDE. What wrong?
ED. You look familiar.
GUIDE. Some say I look like American actor Bruce Willis.
ED. No, not that. I know. I can't believe it!
GUIDE. You okay? You crazy?
ED. And why can I understand Chinese? (thinks, then snaps his
fingers) Of course! The FanFic!

[Back to the living room.]

RANMA. So, what does this "FanFic" have to do with it? And why
can you understand Chinese AND Japanese because of it?
ED. (Ed sighs) Look, this world is not real.
AKANE. Huh?
ED. It is the product of the imagination of a woman named Rumiko
Takahashi.
RYOGA. You're putting us on!
ED. Am I? Name something that only you three would know. Ask me.
AKANE. (turning to them) What should we ask him?
ED. I'll just pick stuff randomly...Akane, you're engaged to
Ranma...Ranma, you and your father fell into Jusenkyo...Akane's a
tomboy...
AKANE. Hey!
ED. ...Sorry...Shampoo used to have a vengeance against Ranma-
chan...Shampoo changes into a cat...What else?
RANMA. That's general knowledge. Most people here know that.
ED. That you can change? How about I tell Kuno? I'm sure he'd
love to know that he's been chasing a GUY for all this time.
RANMA. How did-?
ED. Or how about I tell about the pig-

[Ryoga has just slapped his hand over Ed's mouth.]

RYOGA. (nervously and loud) Well, I believe him!
AKANE. What pig? P-chan?
ED. Uh- (remembering) <Shit! I shouldn't have done that!> about
the pig that Shampoo tried to cook once for Ranma at school.
RANMA. Well, I believe him too. I don't know why.
AKANE. If you two do, I guess I do as well.
ED. It's a little more complicated than that. You see, you are
real, but you aren't.
RANMA. Huh?
ED. You are real as I talk to you. You have your own thoughts and
actions. I don't control them as I did in the FanFic. So you are
real, but created.
AKANE. Sounds simple.
ED. Gee, you're taking this well.
AKANE. I don't know why.
RANMA. How do you know all about us?
ED. Well, you're from a series called "Ranma 1/2". It's a
Japanese animated show about all of you.
RYOGA. Animated?
ED. Yeah.
RANMA. Wait, how many people watch this show?
ED. Oh, I don't know. Probably a million or so.

[Ranma slumps over the table.]

RANMA. We're in a soap-opera.
AKANE. Do you watch it?
ED. Of course! That's why I hunted down the Tendo dojo. It was
the one real place I could relate to.
RYOGA. Then, who is Trale?
RANMA. That would clarify things.
ED. Trale is a character I created. He was supposed to be based
on myself to run around in your world. I used to control Trale's
actions. Now that I'm in the FanFic, he'll have free reign.
AKANE. Would that be bad?
ED. Possibly. For all intents and purposes, Trale IS me, except
with a few changes. He has the same unstable emotions as I do,
and could do most anything I would.
RANMA. Unstable emotions?
ED. Yeah. Mood swings and such. There's another problem, though.
RYOGA. What's that?
ED. I've been in this world for about a month, and I've been
starting to adopt characteristics of an anime character.
RANMA. What?
ED. I'm starting to become an animated character. I've been
jumping higher and farther, plus my eyes are starting to get
bigger.
AKANE. What's so bad about that?
ED. I don't know. I'm just worried that when...IF...I get back,
will I stay like this?
AKANE. We'll try to help you.
ED.I need to find Trale, first. He has the first key to the
mystery.
RANMA. You mean-?
ED. Yes, the Dragon Combs.
RYOGA. Then we'll hunt for Trale tomorrow.

[Cut to dinner table. The crew is sitting around it.]

ED. Thanks for the food Kasumi, but I'm not really that hungry
tonight.
KASUMI. Why? You should eat. Is it my cooking?
ED. No, no. I've got a lot of things to think about. If you'll
excuse me-
SOUN. By all means.

[Ed gets up, and vanishes into the courtyard.]

SOUN. Of friend Ed seems to be troubled.
AKANE. I feel sorry for him.
RANMA. (to her) Don't tell me you're getting soft for him!
AKANE. No, no. Ed just has something...
RANMA. (making hand movements for her to continue)
...something...
AKANE. I don't know. He's either hiding something, or is
regretting something.

[Cut to roof. Ed is laying down, looking at the stars.]

RANMA. You spend all your time alone?
ED. Huh? Oh, hi Ranma.
RANMA. Mind if I join you?
ED. Sure. Pull up a piece of tile.

[Ranma lays next to him.]

RANMA. What you were saying, about all of us, was it really true?
I mean, us not being real?
ED. Yeah, but now I'm not so sure.
RANMA. What?
ED. Well, I see all of you now, and you're as real as the people
back where I come from.
RANMA. Is that good?
ED. I don't know either. (he sighs)
RANMA. Is there something wrong?
ED. No...
RANMA. (sitting up, looking at him) Look, I may not be the
smartest person in the world, but I know when something's wrong.
ED. Everybody says so.
RANMA. Then...?
ED. It's one of those moods, I guess.
RANMA. Moods?
ED. I get like that sometimes.
RANMA. You're weird.
ED. I agree.

[A ladder hits the edge of the roof. Ranma and Ed look. Kasumi
pops her head up.]

KASUMI. (climbing up) So there you are. We've been looking. I
heard talking from the roof.
ED. Just... (looks at Ranma) just talking.
RANMA. Well, I'm going to take a bath. We'll talk later Ed. (he
leaps from the roof)
KASUMI. (calling after him) Be careful!

[Ed returns to looking at the stars.]

KASUMI. (sitting down next to him) Beautiful night.
ED. Yeah, it is. I've never really looked at the stars before.
KASUMI. What's wrong?
ED. Hmm? (he looks at her) What?
KASUMI. Something's wrong.
ED. Why would you say that?
KASUMI. Feminine intuition. (she smiles)
ED. Why is it always the females who do that?
KASUMI. Do what? Tell me. I'd love to listen.
ED. Sometimes I get this way. It's just, I feel so lonely
sometimes.
KASUMI. We're here for you. Even though you're a stranger, we've
come to know you somehow.
ED. It's not that. (he sits up) I have all the friends in the
world, more than I'll ever need, and I still feel lonely.
KASUMI. Why?
ED. Why? Why? (he shakes his head) I don't know why. I think it's
that I don't have anybody to share my time with.
KASUMI. A girlfriend?
ED. You're batting 1000 so far, Kasumi.
KASUMI. What about the girls where you come from? Don't they like
you?
ED. Competition is high since it's a small school, and those that
aren't taken are too fickle. (he stands) I mean, look at all of
you. You have Dr. Tofu...Ranma has Akane...Nabiki has
Kuno...Ukkyo-
KASUMI. Nabiki and Kuno? (she laughs) Are you serious?
ED. Yeah. Look at them. She always treats him terribly, but I
guess it shows she cares.
KASUMI. I don't know about that. She detests him. She's doing it
for profit.
ED. Well, perhaps I'm wrong.

[There is a long pause.]

KASUMI. Then what about here?
ED. Huh?
KASUMI. Someone here. In Nerima. There are girls all around that
would like to be with a handsome young man like yourself.
ED. No, I'm not...
KASUMI. You have an inferiority complex.
ED. Can't help it. I got it from a friend.
KASUMI. Then how about Nabiki?
ED. Nabiki? I'm afraid she'd try to sell me to one of the raving
lunatics that chase Ranma constantly. Since I do look like Ranma,
even slightly.
KASUMI. Well, give her a chance.
ED. What am I supposed to do? I've never been good with women.
KASUMI. Even being Nabiki's sister, she is unpredictable. Buy
flowers or something.
ED. Do flowers actually work?
KASUMI. Most of the time, to tell your feelings without saying
them.
ED. Ah...
KASUMI. Well then, I better get going. (she stands)
ED. (standing) Kasumi?
KASUMI. Yes?
ED. Thanks. (he takes her hand, and like a gentleman, kisses it)

[Kasumi laughs, and climbs back down. The ladder disappears. Ed
lays back down. There is a small tap behind him.]

MOUSSE. Hey Saotome.
ED. Huh? (here's Mousse's voice) Oh, put on you're glasses
Mousse. I don't even sounds like Ranma.
MOUSSE. Eh? (puts them on) You're not Ranma.
ED. How perceptive. Have a seat.
MOUSSE. (sits) Then who are you?
ED. I'm Ed.
MOUSSE. Then, who was the other one?
ED. Trale.
MOUSSE. I'm confused.
ED. Don't worry, it gets even more so. (pause) So what are you
doing here?
MOUSSE. Hunting for Shampoo. I saw you up on the roof, and
thought it was Ranma. I was going to ask if you had seen her.
ED. No, I've been talking to Ranma and Kasumi for a while. If she
did go by, I probably wouldn't have seen her.
MOUSSE. Hmm. Then I'll leave you.
ED. Come back again.

[Mousse leaves.]

ED. (putting his hand to his forehead) Everything is changing so
fast.

[He hears another tap behind him.]

ED. Back already Mousse? (he looks)

[Trale is standing behind him.]

ED. Trale!
TRALE. We meet again.
ED. I've been searching-
TRALE. I know who and what you are.
ED. What are you-
TRALE. (pulling out his combs) I will not let you take me back!
ED. What?!

[Trale slashes forward, Ed rolls forward, only to fall off the
roof and hit the ground.]

ED. Ow! Shit!

[Trale leaps down.]

TRALE. I will not let you.
ED. (scooting back on the ground) Trale, I don't want to take-

[Trale holds the combs forward, and two energy bolts fly toward
him.]

ED. TRALE!

>>> END OF PART 3 <<<

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
          Ranma 1/2: The Dragon Comb Mystery -- Part 4
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
                         by Ed Hrzic
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
               Copyright (c) 1995 by Ed Hrzic
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
     Based upon characters created by Rumiko Takahashi
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Previous parts may be found at "ftp.std.com".
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Direct any comments to me at "bd981@@yfn.ysu.edu".
-----------------------------------------------------------------

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Text between < and > are used to denote a
character's thoughts.

               <<< CONTINUED FROM PART 3 >>>

[Ed ducks. The bolts fly overhead.]

ED. (screaming) Trale!

[Trale waves the combs around. The air in front of him starts to
take a dragon shape. He then extends the combs forward quickly,
sending the dragon out at Ed. Ed is frozen with fear.]

[The wall behind him is destroyed.]

TRALE. (looking around) What-?

[He looks to the roof. Ranma grabbed Ed just in the nick of time
and dropped him on the roof.]

TRALE. This is no concern of yours, Ranma!
RANMA. It has EVERYTHING to do with me! (pointing at Ed) He's my
friend.
ED. <Friend?>
TRALE. Then fight!
RANMA. (leaping from the roof) Gladly!

[The rest of the Tendo/Saotome crew gasp.]

[Trale begins concentrating again.]

TRALE. You will see what happens...
RANMA. We'll see... (he begins his own concentrations)
TRALE. ***KINETIC BLAZING DRAGON COMB BLAST!***
RANMA. (throwing his arms forward) ***HIRYU SHOTEN HA!***

[The two blasts meet each other and fade.]

TRALE. You're getting sloppy Ranma.

[Ranma steps forward. He feels an arm on his shoulder.]

ED. Ranma...stop.
RANMA. Eh?
ED. Stop. If Trale wants to kill me so much...I won't let you
stand in his way.
RANMA. You're nuts!
ED. (giving a weak smile) Took you this long, huh?

[Ranma looks at both of them, then steps back.]

ED. I'm here Trale. If you want to kill me, do it now.
KASUMI. Ed! What are you doing?
ED. (facing Trale) SO MANY PEOPLE HATE ME! IT'S NO USE TO
CONTINUALLY BURY MY HEAD IN THE SAND ALL OF THE TIME!

[There is silence.]

ED. DO IT TRALE!

[Trale is about raise his combs, but stops.]

ED. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

[Trale stands there with his head down.]

[The crew gasps as Trale flies to the ground. Ed has hit him.]

ED. I've never hit anyone in my life! Least of all myself!
NABIKI. "Myself?"

[Ed shakes his head and calms down.]

ED. Trale, take my hand.

[Trale takes it and gets up.]

ED. I didn't come here to take you back. YOU are the one who
belongs here. I belong nowhere.
TRALE. Then why ARE you here?
ED. It's an accident. I'm not supposed to be here, but I am. The
key to get home is in your combs.

[Trale looks down at the combs.]

TRALE. Hmmm...

[Cut to later, Tendo Dining Room. Nabiki, Ed, Ranma, and Akane
are sitting at the table.]

NABIKI. Ed.
ED. Yeah?
NABIKI. What did you mean by 'hitting yourself' when you punched
Trale?
ED. Oh...well, Trale was supposed to be me in this world. Writing
stories, I wanted part of me to experience the world here. Never
thought that I'd be here.
AKANE. Where is Trale?
RANMA. He's on the roof, thinking.
ED. Seems like I should be doing the same.
RANMA. Well, I'm going to the dojo. I need to work off this
frustration.
AKANE. What frustration?
RANMA. Shut up you tomboy!
AKANE. (she swings at him) Pervert!

[Ranma dodges, running for the dojo.]

ED. They do seem to get along well.
NABIKI. (sips her drink) Yeah.
ED. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff that is written about
them.
NABIKI. What do you mean?
ED. I'm not the only one who write FanFics. There are "perverted"
people out there who take advantage of the situations...

[Nabiki stares at him.]

ED. Hey! I don't do it! I wrote only one Ranma FanFic! <What did
Kasumi say? Hmm... Might as well give it a try.> Hey, Nabiki.
NABIKI. What now?
ED. You're been one of the most "interesting" characters in Ranma
1/2, as well as one of my favorite ones.
NABIKI. (giving him a blank look) What are you getting at?
ED. Are you going out with anyone?
NABIKI. (almost dropping her drink) Huh?
ED. Are-you-going-out-with-anyone?
NABIKI. You must be joking.
ED. You're right. I'm joking.
NABIKI. (peers at him) No, you're not.
ED. Am I so transparent? Sorry, I'll leave. (he gets up and walks
out)
NABIKI. Hey! Wait! (she watches him leave) Idiot.

[Cut to the roof. Trale is sitting down.]

TRALE. Hello, Ed.
ED. Hi, Trale. It's weird to see myself here.
TRALE. I want to ask you a question.
ED. (sitting) Go ahead. I'm already in a depressed mood. That's
when I usually answer to anything.
TRALE. Who am I?
ED. "Who are you?" What do you mean?
TRALE. What am I?
ED. (adjusting the glasses on his face) You're a fictitious
character, created to explore the Ranma universe.
TRALE. So, I'm nothing?
ED. No. Now you're real, since I'm here. Not only that, you are
me as well, for all intents and purposes. I can give you all my
memories...but I can't...
TRALE. You can...and you can't?
ED. I've got too much pain...I don't want to give it to anyone
else.
TRALE. Ed, I want to feel the pain. I want to be someone.
ED. (stares out into the city) So would I.

[Cut to Ed walking up the stairs.]

ED. Bad idea from the start. (he stops) <Why AM I here? Shit.>

[He looks up to see Kasumi walking toward him.]

ED. Hey Kasumi.
KASUMI. Oh, hi Ed! Where is Trale?
ED. Still on the roof.
KASUMI. Would you like to take a bath?
ED. Uh...no thanks...
KASUMI. Besides, it will calm you down.
ED. But...I don't ne-

[Kasumi has already disappeared. Ed is now holding a towel.]

ED. This is not going well.

[Ed goes to the laundry room and undresses. He then opens the
bathroom door.]

ED. <Okay now. Let's hope that no one bursts in...>

[Ed sinks into the bathtub.]

[Trale walks into the kitchen. Kasumi is busying herself with
something.]

TRALE. Kasumi?
KASUMI. Oh, hi Trale. Can I help you?
TRALE. Where is Ed?
KASUMI. Taking a bath.
TRALE. Can you tell him something for me?
KASUMI. What?
TRALE. Tell him 'thanks.' I won't be staying here. I need to go
and explore this world, since I am somebody. Tell him thanks for
the talk, and all he's done for me.

[Trale runs away.]

KASUMI. Trale...

[Cut to Nabiki's room. Nabiki is laying on her bed.]

NABIKI. <What was that idiot saying? "Are you going out with
anyone?" What did he mean? Did he want to go out? He is
relatively cute though.> (she stands up) I guess I should say
something.

[Cut to kitchen.]

NABIKI. Kasumi? Where is Ed?
KASUMI. He's taking a bath.
NABIKI. Perhaps I'll interrupt him.
KASUMI. Wouldn't that be nice?

[Cut to Laundry Room.]

NABIKI. <Here goes.> (she knocks) Hello? Ed?

[There is the sound of someone diving under water.]

NABIKI. Ed? Ed? Are you okay? (she opens the door)

[She walks in, up to the tub.]

NABIKI. Ed? (she reaches into the water) Ah! Got ya! (she pulls
up)

[A green-haired girl's face stares at her.]

NABIKI. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!
GIRL. I-uh...
NABIKI. Where's Ed?

[The girl looks down. Shock comes over Nabiki.]

NABIKI. Don't tell me! You're Ed?!

[The girl slowly nods.]

NABIKI. You've got a lot of explaining to do.

[Cut to Tendo Dining room. All family members are sitting around
the table, plus Ed-chan.]

RANMA. Another curse?
ED. Yes.
AKANE. How?
SOUN. Yes! How?
ED. Well, let's go back to a few weeks ago.

[Flashback.]

ED V-O. Well, back in China, I was searching for a way to get to
Japan. That way I could meet up with all of you.

[Pictures of Ed-kun walking around.]

ED V-O. As you know, China is very big. (pause) Well, one day, I
was walking around, and I found it.
GENMA V-O. Found what?
ED V-O. Jusenkyo.

[Picture of Jusenkyo.]

EVERYBODY. Eh?
ED V-O. I was surprised too. I knew enough to stay away. Besides,
the Guide told me to stay away too. It would have been perfect. I
went the other way for several meters.
NABIKI V-O. And what happened?
ED V-O. I fell into a pool.

[Picture of Ed falling into a pool.]

RANMA V-O. Of Jusenkyo water?
ED V-O. No. Something different. I would soon find out it was
another place called "Kusenkyo."
GENMA V-O. "Kusenkyo?"
ED V-O. Yeah, I sort of disbelieved it myself. That Guide knows
more than we give him credit for. It seems that it is sort of a
"sister" place to Jusenkyo. Anyway, it seems that the keys to the
curses are reversed -- cold water changes me back, hot water
invokes it.
RANMA V-O. It must suck taking a hot, relaxing bath then.
ED V-O. You're telling me.

[Back to dining room.]

ED. But, those combs that Trale has are the key to getting me
back home...probably getting me back to normal as well.
RANMA. I wouldn't hold my breath for too long. I've been trying
for just how long?

[Ed looks down.]

ED. Where IS Trale?
KASUMI. Oh, he told me to tell you to say thanks. He said that
just as he was running away.
ED. What?! (she gets up and runs outside)

[He looks off into the distance of the city.]

ED. Trale... Dammit, you're going to make me search for you
again, aren't you? (she takes a step forward) Eh?

[Her foot catches on something in front of her. The two combs are
laying there, with a note attached. Ed picks it up and starts
reading.]

TRALE V.O. I was about to leave when I remembered that you may
need these to get back home. I am going to explore this great big
world now that I am someone. Don't worry we'll meet again in the
future. I promise. Good luck in your own struggle. Sincerely,
Trale.

[Ed sighs. Kasumi walks outside.]

KASUMI. Are you alright?
ED. (turning to her) Yeah, everything's fine.
KASUMI. That's nice. Since Trale is gone, you can have his room.
ED. Oh, okay.

[Ed stops to douse herself with cold water before he goes
upstairs. He walks up past Nabiki who stops.]

NABIKI. Hey Ed? I want to tal-

[Ed continues walking and enters his room, not speaking to her.]

NABIKI. (following him) Ed?
ED. Leave me alone. I have nothing to say.
NABIKI. What do you mean? You said I was one of your favorite
characters, right?

[Ed looks down.]

NABIKI. Then-

[Ed clutches at his head.]

NABIKI. Ed?
ED. Ouch...
NABIKI. What's going on?

[Ed doubles over in pain, still holding his head. He screams. The
crew comes running upstairs.]

ED. The pain...
AKANE. What's going on?
NABIKI. (reaching down to him) I don't know! Ed, what's
happening?
ED. I can't stand the pain...not again...please...not again...
NABIKI. What are you talking about?

[A tear slips down from his eyes as he falls unconscious.]

                    >>> END OF PART 4 <<<

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
          Ranma 1/2: The Dragon Comb Mystery -- Part 5
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
                         by Ed Hrzic
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
               Copyright (c) 1995 by Ed Hrzic
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
     Based upon characters created by Rumiko Takahashi
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Previous parts may be found at "ftp.std.com" in "archives/anime-
fan-works/Ranma".
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Direct any comments to me at "bd981@@yfn.ysu.edu".
-----------------------------------------------------------------

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Text between < and > are used to denote a
character's thoughts.

               <<< CONTINUED FROM PART 4 >>>

[Pan upon exterior of Doctor Tofu's building (hospital, or
whatever it's really called).]

[Cut to inside of Dr. Tofu's office. Ed is laying in one of the
beds, covered with a blanket. Dr. Tofu looks at him quizzically,
then leaves.]

[Cut to waiting room. Ranma, Akane, Genma(panda) and Nabiki are
waiting. Dr. Tofu enters.]

AKANE. Well?
DR.TOFU. Well, he's alright. He's going to be asleep for a while.
You don't have to worry. You can all go home.
RANMA. (standing) Well, at least he's safe.
AKANE. (standing) Yeah...thanks Dr. Tofu.
GENMA. (various hand motions) Growll...blurb...rrroow...
AKANE. Yeah, it's probably time for dinner, Mr. Saotome.

[Genma nods in approval and with Ranma in tow.]

RANMA. Hey! Let go of me pop! (trailing off) Let me go...!
AKANE. Thanks again.
DR.TOFU. My pleasure.

[Akane begins to walk out.]

AKANE. You've been relatively quiet, Nabiki...
NABIKI. I'm going to stay here...
AKANE. Huh?
DR.TOFU. If you want to watch over him, that's fine, but I'll be
here, so...
NABIKI. It doesn't matter.
AKANE. Oooookay. I'll tell dad that you aren't coming home for a
while, and I'll get Kasumi to drop something by later. Bye. (she
leaves)
DR.TOFU. Well, I'm going out for dinner. Please take care of the
office. (he leaves)

[Nabiki walks into the room where Ed is.]

NABIKI. <Idiot...> (she thinks) <What was he talking about?
'Pain?' And 'dating?'> (she shakes her head) Poor guy. (she sits
down in the chair across the room)

[Cut to Tendo household. The family is seated around the dinner
table.]

KASUMI. So, Nabiki isn't coming home?
RANMA. (eating) Nope. She's still over at the doc's office.
KASUMI. I'll have to bring something for her...
SOUN. She's been quiet all of the sudden. Not like usual.
KASUMI. Perhaps she has some romantic inclinations.
RANMA. Nabiki? Personally, I don't think she CAN have romantic
inclinations. Have you ever seen her with a guy?
AKANE. What about Kuno?
RANMA. I mean a 'real' guy. He doesn't even count for plankton.
If I didn't know better, I'd say she was-

[Akane boots him into the pond. Ranma-chan pops out.]

RANMA-CHAN. What'd you do that for?
AKANE. Idiot! (she walks off)
GENMA. Things are definitely getting interesting, Soun...
SOUN. (folding his arms and nodding) Yes, they are...
KASUMI. (standing and picking up a package) I'm going to Dr.
Tofu's office. I'll be back soon.
SOUN. Take care. (he starts pulling out the usual game board)

[Cut to Dr. Tofu's building.]

KASUMI. (opening the door) Is anyone here?

[No answer.]

KASUMI. Nabiki?

[She walks into Ed's room.]

KASUMI. Oh, you're asleep... (she places the food down on an
empty table. she looks at Ed) Hopefully you feel better...
(she takes a blanket and puts it over Nabiki, then leaves)

[Cut to later that night. Ed stirs.]

ED. (getting up) Ow...get me the license number of that truck...
(he holds his head)

[He looks over at the package.]

ED. What's in here?

[He opens it up.]

ED. Food! (he begins to eat) <Hmm...always did like Japanese
cooking.>

[He looks around and sees Nabiki sleeping.]

ED. <Damn...why's SHE here? Another scheme?>

[Ed shakes his head.]

ED. Forget it, that was five years ago.

[Ed goes and lay back down.]

NABIKI. What happened five years ago?

[Ed jumps to the ceiling.]

ED. DON'T DO THAT! (he jumps down, back to the bed) I didn't know
you were up.
NABIKI. Well, I am. Just what happened five years ago?
ED. Oh, so you can use it for blackmail, Nabiki? I know how your
scheming mind works.
NABIKI. Oh really?
ED. Yeah, I'm watch more than half the series. I know.
NABIKI. (getting up) Are you so sure.
ED. (laying back down) Yep.
NABIKI. Well, that's a fine how-do-you-do! I stay here almost all
night for your silly sake, and you- (she stamps her foot in
anger) Aargh! You are so impossible! You're just like everyone
else! I'm feeling like Akane screaming at Ranma!
ED. (sits up and turns around to face her) Oh? So, then tell me,
why am I sooooooo wrong about your personality, Nabiki?
NABIKI. (pointing at him) Do I ALWAYS have to be greedy? Huh?
Don't you think for once that I would like to be something
different? Everyone EXPECTS me to be a greedy, scheming person,
so I am! Wouldn't you think- No, I guess not.
ED. I'm used to greedy people, so it comes natural, Nabiki. I'm
sorry.
NABIKI. (still agitated) What happened five years ago?
ED. Huh?
NABIKI. What you said a while ago, something about an incident
five years ago.
ED. Oh... Some girl I fell in love with. She was greedy as well.
Everyone told me so, but I didn't believe them. I wrote a whole
bunch of poetry and stories for her...just for her. Then, she
takes them all, and re-writes them, and publishes them under her
name. I was never more pissed off in my life. (pause) Actually, I
was more HURT than anything else. (sigh)

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: No, this didn't happen to me. I thought I'd make
the 'Ed' of this fic a little different than me.]

NABIKI. So what did you do?
ED. What else could I do? I hit her during school, and was
suspended for a week.
NABIKI. Just for hitting her?
ED. She was the principal's daughter.
NABIKI. Oh.
ED. Sorry. I didn't mean to get into your life. My apologies,
again.
NABIKI. Why were you in so much pain?
ED. To tell you the truth, I barely know myself. It could be that
you remind me of her, and that pain that I had when she abused me
was too much to bear. The only other idea is that I'm slowly
turning into an anime character...and I'm breaking my link with
reality.
NABIKI. That's deep.
ED. No kidding.
NABIKI. What did you mean yesterday, about 'Are you going out
with anyone?'
ED. Never mind.
NABIKI. I'm not.
ED. Good.
NABIKI. That's it? Nothing else?
ED. No.
NABIKI. Okay then Ed, are YOU going out with anyone?
ED. Are you kidding? Of course not. Take a good look at me. Do
you think ANY female would even try to do so?
NABIKI. Huh?

[Cut to next day, top of Doctor Tofu's hospital. Ed is sitting,
Indian style, in thought, not in ponytail.]

ED. <This is getting terribly pathetic. I'm stuck here...no way
back. I'm starting to turn into an anime character... Hell, good
thing I haven't gotten into any more trouble, like Shampoo coming
by or something.>

[Ranma and Akane walk by.]

AKANE. Nice to see you're up and around!

[Ed looks down at them.]

ED. Where are you two going?
RANMA. To school!
ED. (laughs evilly) I'm a graduate! (he sticks out his tongue)
RANMA. Shut up!
ED. (leaps down) Hee hee. Sorry... I get a little carried away by
lowly underclassmen...

[Cut to walking.]

AKANE. So why EXACTLY are you coming to school with us?
ED. I can't wait to see if the principal is as corny as he
appears on T.V.
RANMA. Just don't let Ms. Hinako think you're a delinquent
student...
ED. (stopping) She's still here?!
RANMA. Yeah, why?

[Ed gets a BIG grin on his face and continues to walk,
whistling.]

AKANE. What're YOU so happy about?
ED. By the way, Ranma, I thought you stopped her absorption
power?
RANMA. No. It got a little tedious grabbing her for a week. I DO
admit is was a bit enj-

[Akane boots Ranma to his classroom.]

ED. You know, I think that's the only time Ranma's gotten to
school early.

[Cut to front of school. 8:26 am.]

ED. Yep, there's the hole Ranma flew through.
AKANE. Right into his desk, I bet.
KUNO. It is YOU!!!

[Ed turns.]

ED. Huh?

[Kuno steps up.]

KUNO. You cretin!
ED. Is that your favorite word?
KUNO. Wouldst though desire me to use another?
ED. Yeah. How about... <Hmm.> Alas poor Yorick! I knew him
Horatio!
KUNO. That is 'I knew him well.'
ED. I read that too. But I think the Mel Gibson version touched
upon the tragical comedy of the plot, but missed a few key
elements.
KUNO. How dare you!
ED. What? Mel Gibson is a good actor!

[A crowd gathers.]

KUNO. You did not use a skull as a basis in your left hand!
ED. Excuse me?
KUNO. If thou wishest to pick a scene from a play, it would do
justice to prepare for one!
ED. Yeah, you're as stupid as I thought.
KUNO. WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
ED. I think that pretty much proves it.

[The crowd laughs.]

KUNO. Silence!
NABIKI. Bets here people!

[Kuno pulls his bokken out of nowhere.]

KUNO. Then we fight for your insult!
ED. Come on! I've never fought anyone in my life!
KUNO. You start now!

[Kuno rushes, Ed rolls backward.]

ED. <Agility increase... I need to get out of here, and quick.>

[Kuno unleashes a down swing. Ed jumps over him.]

KUNO. Stand still!
ED. And get throttled into oblivion?! No thanks!

[Ed pulls out his combs.]

ED. <Okay now. How do these things work?>

[Kuno rushes.]

ED. <YOU CREATED THE BLOODY THINGS! THINK! THINK!>

[Kuno swings. Ed parries with both of them. Kuno hauls his bokken
back again, and swings to the side. Ed tries to parry but is
thrown clear across the front of the school. He lays there with
his eyes closed. He puts his head to his temple.]

ED. <Youch... It's true. The less intelligence they have, the
stronger they are.>

[He opens his eyes and sees a young girl dressed in a yellow
dress.]

ED. Uh...hi... I probably know you, but I can't tell right now.
For one, the sun is overshadowing you, and I had REALLY bad
headaches for the past several days...
KUNO. There you are!
ED. And there's one of them over there...

[Ed hears some incantations, several flashes of light and Kuno
suddenly drops.]

ED. Cool. Who are you?
WOMAN. I am Miss Hinako Ninomiya.
ED. Gah!
HINAKO. Are you alright?
ED. Gah...whoa...tha...you-you're...Mi...you're Miss Hi-Hinako...
HINAKO. Are you a student here?
ED. Uh...weeee...tha..the...n-no...
HINAKO. Then what are you doing here?
ED. Vi-visiting...
HINAKO. Shouldn't you get up? I mean, I don't like people looking
up my skirt.
ED. (sits up) I wasn't! Honestly!
HINAKO. I believe you.
ED. I'm glad someone does.
AKANE. (running over) Are you okay?
ED. I don't think so...
AKANE. What? Did Kuno hit you hard?
ED. No, but she (pointing to Hinako) had the effect of hitting me
pretty hard.
RANMA. Hello Miss Hinako.
HINAKO. Miss Tendo. Excuse me, but I must get back to class.
ED. Thanks for saving me.
HINAKO. Since you're not a student, then are you going to help
around the school?
ED. I guess so. If I'm needed. It's either that, or stay at
Akane's house and play Go with her father and Mister Saotome.
HINAKO. Then, would you mind help me?

[Ed falls over and twitches.]

HINAKO. He hasn't been feeling well, has he?
AKANE. It would take too long to explain.

[Hinako reverts back to her normal state.]

HINAKO. Would you take him to the nurse's office?
AKANE. Sure. (she picks up Ed, who is still twitching)
HINAKO. Tell him to walk by after he's recuperated. Bye! (she
laughs as she runs off in normal Hinako style)
AKANE. What are we going to do with you?

[The bell rings.]

AKANE. Now I'm late!

[She speeds off.]

[Cut to classroom.]

RANMA. Hey, Akane, what took you so long?
AKANE. Shove it.
RANMA. Where's Ed?
AKANE. Recuperating.
RANMA. From what? That hit of Kuno's?
AKANE. No, from Miss Hinako.
RANMA. She hit him?
AKANE. No. He looked at her.
RANMA. Oh.

[Miss Hinako begins teaching.]

[Cut to principal's office.]

PRINCIPAL. Aloha! And what is your problem?
ED. Nothing. Just wanted to make sure that I'm allowed to walk
around the school.
PRINCIPAL. Aren't you a student?
ED. No. I'm a graduate from a place far, far away.
PRINCIPAL. I don't see what not. Just don't disturb any of the
teachers while class is in session.
ED. Got it.
PRINCIPAL. What's your name?
ED. Ed.
PRINCIPAL. Oooookay.

[Ed leaves.]

PRINCIPAL. I might be able to use him for some reason or
another...cleaning up this school. Since Miss Hinako seems not to
be able to do it well, I'll just have to improvise...


                    >>> END OF PART 5 <<<

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
               Ranma 1/2: The Dragon Comb Mystery
                         -------------
                          Part 6 of 7

                          Written by
                           Ed Hrzic

                     Copyright (c) 1995 by
                           Ed Hrzic

Based upon characters created by Rumiko Takahashi and Warner Bros
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Previous parts may be found at "ftp.cs.ubc.ca" in the cirectory
"pub/archive/anime-fan-works/Ranma".
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Direct any comments to me at "bd981@yfn.ysu.edu".
-----------------------------------------------------------------

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Text between < and > are used to denote a
character's thoughts.

               <<< CONTINUED FROM PART 5 >>>

[Open on Ranma's classroom.  (I think it's B-2?) Ranma is tapping
a pencil on his desk, his head leaning on his hand.  Akane is
standing, reading a passage from their textbook.]

RANMA.  <There's got to be more to this than he's telling.
There's something funny going on, and I think he's the cause of
it.>
TEACHER.  What is the answer Ranma!
RANMA.  (looking up) Uhhh...Forty-two.

[The teacher's mouth drops.]

TEACHER.  That's...that's correct!
RANMA.  Really?
AKANE.  How about that?  Ranma got one right.  Maybe we should
declare a national monument.

[Cut to post office.  A small, wooden crate sits on a table.  A
man picks it up.  He walks out and puts it on a truck.  The truck
drives off.  It passes through the streets of Nerima.  In front
of the Tendo dojo, it hits a bump, and the crate flies out,
landing on the ground in front of the gate.]

[Genma (panda) comes out and begins to sweep the yard.  Opening
up the gate, he sees a package.  He picks it up and looks at it.
Emblazoned on the front of it is a sign that says "From Warner
Studios.  DO NOT OPEN WITHOUT LIFE INSURANCE!"  Since Genma can't
read english, he takes it in to the dojo.]
[Kasumi is sitting in the den when Genma brings it in.]

KASUMI.  Hello Mr. Saotome.  What do you have there?

[Genma makes a few noises while putting the crate down on the
table.]

KASUMI.  What is it?  It's written in english.  Can you read it?

[Genma shakes his head.]

KASUMI.  (calling outside of the den)  Nabiki, you know a little
english, right?  Could you read this?

[Nabiki comes in and looks at the package.]

NABIKI.  Hmmm...it says, "Life Insurance Premium.  Open as soon
as possible."
KASUMI.  Well, okay.  Does anyone have a crowbar?
NABIKI.  Right here.  (she gives Kasumi a crowbar)

[Kasumi puts the edge under the top of the crate and pushes
downward.]

[There is a HUGE whirlwind that comes out, knocking several
things down.  When it disappears, everything is in disarray.]

NABIKI.  What was that?
VOICE.  What was what?
NABIKI.  (turning to the voice) All th- What on earth are you?

[Nabiki, Kasumi and Genma stand looking at three dog-like
individuals.  One is wearing brown pants, another is wearing a
red hat and blue shirt, and the last one is wearing a pink skirt
with a daisy in her hair.]

TWO MALES.  We're the Warner Brothers!
FEMALE.  And the Warner Sister!
NABIKI.  Who?

[The three pose, as if for a picture.]

YAKKO.  I'm Yakko!
WAKKO.  I'm Wakko!
DOT.  I'm Dot!

[Soun walks in.]

SOUN.  What is this?

DOT.  (looking at Genma) How cute! (she runs up and hugs the
panda)
YAKKO.  (to Wakko) When did pandas become house-pets?
SOUN.  (picking up Yakko) Who are you?
YAKKO.  Do we have to go through that again?
SOUN.  And just what are you?
YAKKO.  That's a good question, and it deserves a good answer.

[Wakko, Yakko and Dot don their graduation caps. Yakko pulls down
a chart that has Wakko on it.]

YAKKO.  (pointing with a stick) As you can see, Wakko here looks
very dog-like.  But is he really a dog?  Scientists have studied
for centuries to determine exactly what we are.
DOT.  And we'll tell you a secret. We already know.
SOUN.  (leaning down) Then, what are you?
WAKKO.  (screaming in Soun's ear) CARTOONS! 
SOUN.  What? I can't hear you!
NABIKI.  This is getting redundant.
YAKKO.  No. Those cheap Japanese cartoons are redundant.
GENMA.  (sign) Cheap?!

[Cut to outside of the dojo. The Warners run out, amid a hail of
fruit and vegetables.]

YAKKO.  Was it something I said?
WAKKO.  Where are we?
DOT.  Definitely not in Kansas.
WAKKO.  Or Tibet.
YAKKO.  Or anywhere near a good cheeseburger joint.

[The Warners walk.  A white smoke drifts past them.  They
inhale.]

YAKKO.  Yum!

[The smoke turns into a finger and beckons them.  They drift
along, into Ukkyo's Ryokan.  The sit in the chairs.]

UKKYO.  (looking at Yakko) Are you hungry?
YAKKO.  No, I'm Yakko.
UKKYO.  That's not what I meant.
YAKKO.  Then what did you mean?
UKKYO.  I meant, do you have an appetite?
WAKKO.  No, but here's my business card.
UKKYO.  (getting down in their faces) Argh!  That's not what I
meant.
YAKKO/WAKKO/DOT.  (getting up in her face) Then what did you
mean?
UKKYO.  Do you want something to eat?
YAKKO.  Does a chicken have feathers?

[Ukkyo fries up three pancakes and serves them on plates.  Yakko
looks at, then back up to Ukkyo.  He pulls out a bottle and
shakes it.]

UKKYO.  What's that?
YAKKO.  Ketchup.
[He coats the pancake and starts eating.]

UKKYO.  (looking at Dot) YOU'RE not going to use ketchup, are
you?
DOT.  Of course not.
UKKYO.  Good.
DOT.  Mayonnaise tastes much better.

[Dot begins eating as well.  Wakko picks up the pancake, throws
it over his shoulder, then begins to eat the plate.]

[Ukkyo stares blankly at all three of them.]

UKKYO.  I've got to get a new job.

[Cut to streets of Nerima.  Ranma is walking home with Akane.
Ranma is mumbling.  Akane stops.]

AKANE.  You've been saying that ALL DAY! WILL YOU STOP IT?!
RANMA.  I got one right...I got one right...

[Akane clubs him.]

[Cut to outside of Ukkyo's Ryokan.]

DOT.  I think we scared the poor girl.

[They see Akane hauling Ranma along the street.]

AKANE.  That's the last straw, Ranma.

[Yakko pulls out a box and a straw, then shows them to her.]

YAKKO.  No, this is.
AKANE.  What is this?
WAKKO.  That's getting very old.
AKANE.  What are you? And what are you doing here?
DOT.  You know, this would have saved a lot of time if someone
would have asked that first.
YAKKO.  We're looking for a person, whose name is Ed.  We've been
instructed to induct him into cartoon lunacy.
AKANE.  Huh?
WAKKO.  Like this hammer I have.  (he pulls out a hammer) Can you
do that?
AKANE.  Well...yes, of course.
YAKKO.  Then you don't need to be inducted.  See, we've been
instructed by the big guy upstairs to induct him. ID,
merchandise, his own show, the whole nine-yards.
AKANE.  I think he's still at school.
YAKKO.  Why there?
AKANE.  He's helping the teacher.

[Cut to school.  Ed is stacking some boxes in a corner.  Ms.
Hinako (older) is grading some papers.  Ed drops after putting
the last box on top of a shelf.]

ED.  There...it's all done...
MS.HINAKO.  Good.  Now you can sweep file these papers. (she
points to a stack that's about 10 feet high next to her desk).

[Ed sighs.]

[The door bursts open.  The Warners step in.]

YAKKO.  Here we are, now where is-

[He sees Ms. Hinako.]

YAKKO.  HELLOOOO TEACHER!

[Yakko and Wakko drool.]

DOT.  What's going on?

[She sees Ed laying on the ground.]

DOT.  Are you alright?
ED.  That voice sounds familiar... (he looks up) YIKES!
DOT.  What's wrong?
ED.  (pointing) Y-y-y-you're Dot!
YAKKO.  He's sure bright.
ED.  How?
DOT.  We're here to induct you into the halls of cartoon lunacy.

[Yakko and Wakko are about to sing.]

MS.HINAKO.  What's going on here?
YAKKO.  I plead the fifth.
WAKKO.  I plead the seventh.
DOT.  I plead half-and-half.
ED.  This is not going well at all.
YAKKO.  You think so?  Try being in a animated feature that you
don't even belong in.
ED.  Technically, I am.
YAKKO.  What?
ED.  In an animated feature.
YAKKO.  Really?  Which one?  I might have seen it.
MS.HINAKO.  Listen, he's my assistant.  He has work to do. Now,
either make yourselves lost, OR I'LL GET RID OF YOU!
DOT.  What does he need to do?
MS.HINAKO.  File these papers.
DOT.  I can do that! (she pulls out a file and begins scraping
the paper)
MS.HINAKO.  That isn't what I meant!
DOT.  Then what did you mean?
MS.HINAKO.  To file them in the file cabinet!
DOT.  Oh!

[Dot jumps into the cabinet and closes the drawer. There is a
scratching sound.]

DOT.  (from cabinet) Do you have a flashlight?  It's dark in
here.

[Ms. Hinako is about to explode.]

ED.  Hey, Ms. H. Chill.  You need to beat them at their own game.
Ahem.  Hey Yakko.

[Yakko snaps out of drooling over Ms. Hinako.]

YAKKO.  What?
ED.  Sing all of the countries of the world, would you?
YAKKO.  Sure!
ED.  Wakko.
WAKKO.  What?
ED.  Sing the capitals and their states.
WAKKO.  Okay (pulls out his fiddle)
ED.  (to Ms. Hinako) Let's get out of here!

[He grabs her hand and begins running. Ms. Hinako reverts back to
normal.]

MS.HINAKO.  Who are they?
ED.  Animaniacs.
MS.HINAKO.  That explains a lot.
ED.  They can drive a person insane if you don't watch yourself.
Right now, we need a battle plan.

[Ed screeches to a halt.]

MS.HINAKO.  What'd you stop for.
ED.  They're in front of us!

[They turn around and run.]

YAKKO.  (pulling out a walkie-talkie) Mr. Spielberg, we can't
corner him.  He keeps us preoccupied.
MR.S.  Be careful.  Those Japanese animated characters can drive
you crazy with their antics.  The bridge between your realities
is shaky.  We'll be able to keep open for a generous amount of
time.  You should hurry though, since we don't know how long it
will stay open.
YAKKO.  Roger.
WAKKO.  I thought his name was Steven.
YAKKO.  It is.  Roger is the film guy over there.  We need to cut
to the next scene, okay Roger?
ROGER.  Okay.

[Cut to forest.  There is a flash of light.  Four armored men
step out of the portal.  Their armor is green, and they each
carry a comb in a sheath at their belt.]
                    >>> END OF PART 6 <<<

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
               Ranma 1/2: The Dragon Comb Mystery
                           -------------
                            Part 7 of 7

                            Written by
                             Ed Hrzic

                       Copyright (c) 1995 by
                             Ed Hrzic

Based upon characters created by Rumiko Takahashi and Warner Bros
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Previous parts may be found at "ftp.cs.ubs.ca" in the directory
"pub/archive/anime-fan-works/Ranma".
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Direct any comments to me at "bd981@@yfn.ysu.edu".
-----------------------------------------------------------------

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Text between < and > are used to denote a
character's thoughts.]

               <<< CONTINUED FROM PART 6 >>>

[Ed and Ms. Hinako (young) run behind a building.]

MS.H. What's this about?
ED. How should I know?!

[Yakko and company pop out of a trash can.]

YAKKO. We're here!

[Ed and Ms. H spaz out and run away.]

ED. This is insane!

[The armored men walk along the streets of Nermina. People give
them weird glances.]

MAN #1. Is this the last place he was seen?
MAN #2. (pulling out a small circular device) Yes, according to
the scans.
MAN #1. Good.

[The device glows purple.]

MAN #2. Sir, the sensor! It's going-

[Ed's foot lands on his face. He falls down.]

MAN #3. Who was that?
[Ms. H steps on man #2, continuing after Ed.]

MAN #2. gaaa...urg...ippp...

MAN #4. What are you saying? (he leans down to listen) Uh-
huh...uh-huh...uh-huh...what?!
MAN #1. What is it?
MAN #4. That's the person we're searching for! He has the combs!

[They see the dust cloud of Ed and Ms. H running.]

MAN #1. After-

[Smack! Yakko, Wakko and Dot step on him while running.]

DOT. (still running) 'scuse us!

[Cut to Ms. H and Ed.]

MS.H. What should we do to stop them?
ED. I don't know!
MS.H. Well, we can't run forever!
ED. No, but we can try!

[Cut to Ranma's room. He's laying on his fouton.]

RANMA. <Something... something...> (his eyes widen) That's it!

[He rushes downstairs in a hurry, passing Kasumi.]

KASUMI. What's wrong?
RANMA. No time to chat!

[Ranma opens the door and runs outside.]

[Cut to Ed and Ms. H. They turn a corner and end up in an alley.]

ED. We're trapped!

[They turn around. At the edge of the alley, the Warners slide
in. They smile, then begin walking slowly.]

WARNERS. It is useless to resist... Resistance is futile...
ED. Do something!
MS.H. Do what?
ED. I don't know!

[He thinks and looks up. He sees a bucket of water up on a window
sill. He then looks down.]

ED. <Of course!>

[The Warners continue to close in.]

ED. (to Miss. H) I've got a plan.
MS.H. To do what?
ED. When I give the signal, go into the fifty-yen satsu, and try
to absorb them.
MS.H. What if it doesn't work?
ED. Believe me, I think it will.

[Ed takes one of the combs from his back pocket and throws it.
Yakko pulls out a tennis racket and bats it upward.]

WAKKO. Bad shot.
DOT. Could be worse.

[Ed looks up at the flying comb.]

ED. NOW!
MS.H. Hoppo fifty-yen satsu!

[The whirlwind of yellow energy is absorbed into the coin. Ms. H
grows. The Warner hardly seem affected.]

[The comb hits the bucket, falling down and dousing Ed. He
changes.]

ED. The things I do...

YAKKO,WAKKO. (at Ms. H) Helloooo teacher!

[They run at her.]

MS.H. HOPPO NO-YEN COIN RETURN!
YAKKO. Ga!

[The yellow cannon of energy flies across and slams Yakko out of
the alley.]

YAKKO. I can fly!

[Wakko jumps.]

WAKKO. I finally got it!

[Ed grabs him.]

WAKKO. Hey! Leggo! If you don't, I'll- Hey! I can't hit a girl!
ED. Good!

[Ed punts Wakko out of the alley. He pours a kettle of hot water
on himself.]

ED. (to Dot) Come here Dot. We've got a surprise for you.
DOT. (inching away) I've got to be going...

[The armored men step behind her.]
MAN #1. Ah! You're the one with the Dragon Combs. (sticking out
his hand) We'll be taking them back now.
ED. Huh?
MAN #1. Don't stall. We want them back.
ED. Says who?
MAN #1. Says me. Are you going to give them to us, or will we
have to take them by force?
ED. Force. I'm not handing them over.
MS.H. Why not, if the combs are theirs?

[Ed picks up the one on the ground, and fires a bolt at Man #1.
He pulls out his combs and cross them together, parrying the
blast. The rest scatter.]

ED. What?

[Ed turns, seeing Man #2 bearing down on him from overhead.]

ED. Oh no!

[Man #2 is knocked into the wall by a flying kick.]

RANMA. Not so fast!
ED,MS.H. Ranma!
RANMA. In the flesh. There's something I want to ask you, Ed.
ED. No time!

[All scatter as the alley erupts in a flash of energy. Dot,
burnt, flies and lands in a fountain.]

[Ranma, Ms. Hinako and Ed make their way out into a park.]

ED. Ms. H, you better stay out of this!
MS.H. Says who?

[Man #3 charges. Ed and Ranma scatter.]

MS.H. HOPPO FIFTY-YEN SATSU!

[The absorption is taking place. Man #3 runs forward and slashes
her dress open.]

MS.H. Ow!
ED. Ms. Hinako!

[Ed slashes downward. Man #3 parries.]

[Cut to Ranma. Man #2 and #4 surround him.]

RANMA. Heh. Let's see. Two against one. It doesn't seem hardly
fair.
MAN #4. Who said life is fair?
RANMA. I was commenting on that fact that the odds aren't exactly
in your favor.
MAN #2. What?

[Ranma slams his fist into Man #2's face.]

[Cut to Ed. He parries the attack of Man #3.]

MAN #3. It would be wise to just hand over the combs.
ED. (leaping back) Who are you anyway?
MAN #3. We are the Dragon Comb Knights. We guard the streams of
reality.
ED. And what does that have to do with me?
MAN #3. When the barrier through the realities were opened, a
door to our domain was opened. There, your friend stole two
dragon combs from an opponent.
ED. He fought the opponent because he was attacked outright. What
was he supposed to do? Just sit there and take it? At least for
the assault, he should be able to keep them.
MAN #3. There is far too much power that exists in them to be
used by an amateur.

[Man #3 shoots him. Ed flies to the ground.]

MAN #3. (pointing the comb down at him) Now, I will take them,
even if I have to kill you.

[The comb shines with a yellow light, just as he is nailed with a
large energy blast.]

ED. (looking over) Ms. Hinako!

[Ms. Hinako is still older, clutching the remains of her dress to
her chest.]

ED. You look like hell.
MS.H. And feel like it to boot.

[She is nailed in the back with an energy blast. Man #1 is
standing back there.]

MAN #1. I WANT THE COMBS BACK! NOW, YOU INSOLENT MORTAL!

[Ed goes to Ms. Hinako's side. She doesn't move.]

ED. (snarling) Then you're going to have to EARN them.

[He pulls out both combs.]

[Cut to Ranma. He runs into a pond. The water reaches his
ankles.]

RANMA. (panting heavily) <These guys are too defensive. They
parry too often. Like Kirin... That's it!>

[Man #2 and #4 run in front of him.]
RANMA. Here we go! (leaping forward) KATSU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN   
REVISED!

[Man #2 and #4 are showered with blows, but they continue to
block.]

[Several water balls fly from Ranma's fists, smacking Man #2
several times. Man #2 flies back toward a tree.]

[More water balls fly toward Man #4. Man #4 jumps to the side.]

MAN #4. I'm wise to that attack.
RANMA. That's what I was counting on.

[Ranma rushes toward him again.]

RANMA. HIRYU SHOTEN HA REVISED SHORYUKEN!
MAN #4. WHAT?!

[Man #4 sees Ranma's fist rising to meet him, as well as the
energy dragon. He is knocked high and far, slamming into the tree
where Man #2 lay.]

RANMA. Now, where's Ed?

[Cut to Ed and Man #1. Ed parries an energy blast. Ed jumps
back.]

ED. KINETIC BLAZING DRAGON COMB BLAST!

[Energy pours out of the comb, Man #1's form disappearing in the
blast. Smoke rises when the blast is finished.]

ED. Whew...finally...

[The smoke clears. Man #1 is still standing there.]

ED. What?!
MAN #1. Is that the best you can channel? How about this?
ED. Huh?
MAN #1. INFERNAL HELL COMB FIRE!

[Fire flares from the comb. Ed parries. The combs become too hot
for him to hold, and throws them backward.]

MAN #1. Now, I will be rid of you once and for all. (he lifts his
comb to fire)

[Ranma bowls him over.]

[Akane and Ryoga arrive on the scene.]

RANMA. No you don't!
MAN #1. (rolling over and getting back up) Hmm. (seeing all of
her fallen comrades) I should have brought better warriors.
RANMA. (cracking his knuckles and stepping toward him) Don't
worry, you won't need them.

MAN #1. (smiling) You're right about that.

[He reaches forward and grabs Ranma.]

RANMA. What?! Let go of me!

[Man #1 holds one of his combs to the sky. A bolt of lightning
flies down to the tip of the comb and channeled to Ranma.]

[Ranma screams as he's nearly fried.]

ED,AKANE,RYOGA. Ranma!

[Ranma drops, coughing.]

[Cut to the edge of the battlefield. Someone picks up the two
combs.]

[Man #1 poises himself over Ranma and smiles.]

AKANE. Ranma!

[Man #1 is knocked over from an energy blast. He falls.]

[Ranma gets up. Everyone turns. Trale is standing there.]

AKANE,RYOGA,ED. Trale!
RANMA. No, it isn't.
AKANE. Huh?

[Trale walks closer.]

RANMA. Hello, Ed.
TRALE. So, you figured it out.
RANMA. Actually, I guessed. Also, it was pretty odd on how both
of you were so closely tied and why you look like one another.

[The other Ed gets up from the ground.]

TRALE. They've found out.
ED. (getting up) Oh.
RANMA. I don't get it. Why did you two act as though you were
each other?
ED. It's hard to understand. I explained it all to Trale before I
left. You see, when a human is here, he begins to take on the
characteristics of an animated character. That's why I had to
leave.
AKANE. Then, what was all of that about when Trale got headaches
and pains?
ED. That was actually partly my fault.
TRALE. You see, Ed and I are actually the same people, but in
different worlds. It's a bit metaphysical. In each reality, there
exists another person who is exactly the same as in another
reality.
RANMA. So Trale's name is actually Ed?
ED. Yes.
RYOGA. Then, why did you come back?
ED. I knew the dragon comb knights would be returning for their
combs.
AKANE. And how did you meet them?
ED. That was sort of a mistake. They thought that I attacked one
of their kind. While I still walked around in China, one of the
dragon comb knights was already on my tail. I ran, but he was
crushed under a rock that he created by shooting a cliff. I took
the combs because they looked neat.

[Ed gestures around.]

ED. As you can see, the dragon comb knights have already
teleported back to their own dimension.
RYOGA. I'm confused.
ED. As well you should be. I also came back to finally settle
matters with Trale. There are some other things that demand his
attention.
TRALE. There's something I've been meaning to ask you as well,
Ed.
ED. Shoot.
TRALE. Why are the combs so powerful.
ED. First of all, the have the power to harness a small sun in
energy. Secondly, you can shift through dimensions with it.
TRALE. Hmm.
ED. Trale, there is also something else.
TRALE. About the combs?
ED. No. Since you are me, and in this world, you have been
changed irrevocably. We can either go back together, or you can
wander through the dimensions.
RANMA. But, won't he meet himself?
ED. The odds of that happening are very slim.
AKANE. But you met Trale...I mean Ed...I mean-
ED. Yes. Because I searched for him.
TRALE. I'm going to wander.
ED. If that's your choice, and it also puts me at ease. Now I can
go back without side-effects.
RYOGA. Side effects?

[Ms. Hinako stirs. She sits up.]

MS.H. Ow...my head...

[Ed pulls her up.]

ED. Are you okay?
MS.H. Yes, but- Wait...two of you?
ED. Trale can explain before he leaves. I must leave, though.
I've cause far too much damage here in Nerima.
RANMA. 'tis nothing. Hey, at least I got a question right. That
makes blowing up a city well worth it.

[Ed sticks out his hand.]

ED. You don't know how much of a pleasure it was meeting you,
Ranma. No one will ever believe it.
RANMA. Same here. But everyone here DOES believe it.

[Ed steps to Akane and they hug. He then shakes Ryoga's hand.]

AKANE. Do you have any advice for us? I mean, you know about the
future of us, don't you?
ED. Yes, but that doesn't matter. Any more changes, and the Ranma
1/2 fans on earth will get mad at me.

[Ed looks at the setting sun and sighs.]

ED. I must leave now. Goodbye everyone.
RANMA. How are you going to get back.

[Ed smiles, and begins to fade from sight.]

MS.H. I don't understand any of this.
RANMA. Don't ask me. Ask Trale.
MS.H. Trale?
TRALE. That's me.
MS.H. But you're Ed.
TRALE. No, I'm Trale.

[Ms. H shakes her head.]

TRALE. We'll talk over dinner.
AKANE. Looks like Ms. H found someone she could count on.
RANMA. Let's go. I'm hungry too.
AKANE. You're always hungry.

[Akane, Ranma and Ryoga leave. Trale looks at the sunset, just as
Ed did, and smiles.]

TRALE. Thanks Ed. For everything.

[Trale and Ms. H begins to leave. He turn back and picks up the
combs on the ground.]

                             FIN

                         THE CREDITS

I think that I shall never be the same again.
After all that I have been through.
The world has been changed somehow,
The earth, and every man and woman.
*
Hold me, shine on me,
Hug me, touch me so.
You're like a ghost;
If you don't, I fear that you might go.
If I could be somebody,
if I could help somebody,
It would be you.
You're as fathomless as the sea!

I see you fight. I see you run.
I see you seeing me and having fun.
It's not a joke to me. I'm not invisible.
Just reach out and touch me!

Repeat *

I cannot hide, I cannot try
To avoid your eyes. I know you see me,
I know you know me.
Can we every be the same again?

Repeat *

Once again we begin to suffer
Once again we become each other's lover,
We can be what we always wanted to be:
It's always you and me.

Repeat *

Somehow the fires die,
Someway the heart begins to sing,
And when we finally see what we can do,
It's to late to change anything.

Repeat * twice

          WRITTEN, PRODUCED AND DIRECTED BY ED HRZIC

                         ENDING THEME:
                   "HOLD ME" (SHINE ON ME)
                  Lyrics written by Ed Hrzic
                Copyright (c) 1997 by Ed Hrzic


                     ...SEE YOU NEXT FIC...


-----------------------------------------------------------------
Well, this was the final installment of Dragon Comb.  However, in
my usual fashion, I have quite a few things to say.
  Let's start with something I read just after getting back on
the 'net.  Being a fan of Mr. Schumacher's "Crys Saga" (mainly
because it was the FIRST fanfic I'd read), I found the sad end to
the series laying in the depths of "ftp.cs.ubc.ca".  His apology
and ending are going to be similar to mine, so I'm going to use
his as a basis.
  Since the "Crys Saga" was the first fic I'd read, I thought
"Wow!  I can put myself in the Ranma 1/2 universe and do really
cool things!"  And that's how it came about, with Trale beginning
his trip to Nerima, and the beginning of "Ranma 1/2:  The Dragon
Comb Mystery".  At the beginning, I thought that I had the fic
under control.
  By the middle, things were unravelling, and in the end, things
were totally LOST...you know, Animaniacs and all.
  In my haste, I had created something that I really hadn't
thought through.  Just as Schumacher considers his "Crys Saga" to
be a "piece of garbage", I consider "Dragon Comb" to be my WORST
work.  In agreement with Mr. Schumacher, it was a mistake.  I had
so many ideas that I wanted to use, I probably had enough for
three fanfics.  Another reason that I could attribute the
"Stupidity Factor" to was writing so many fics at the same time. 
I had, what, six going on?  So that limited my creative energies
to this work, and in the end, it died, choking on its own bile
(pretty gruesome description, huh?).  About the only thing I
LIKED about DC was the song that you just read (which is ALSO
copyrighted by me;  I like to take precautions).
  The end of the series was to somehow get me out of the fic, and
confuse just about everyone and their grandmother.  Simply, I
rushed to the end because I WANTED it to end.
  But to all of those who LIKED DC, thanks for tuning in. 
Perhaps I'll do a complete revision for the series...but don't
count on it in the near future, or even at all.

- Ed Hrzic
-----------------------------------------------------------------
